A humorous look at some things you might not want to hear your husband say.

1. “Don’t call the plumber! I can fix the sink.”

2. “I did you a favor honey. I washed and dried all the laundry for you.”

3. “Can I borrow your nail clippers? My toenails are getting huge!”

4. “Can you give me a foot rub?”

5. “I shouldn’t have eaten that much chili for dinner.”

6. “I’m sorry, I thought that was the dogs brush.”

7. “I found a great old car that I can restore in the yard.”

8. “Could you take a look at this bump? It‘s in a really BAD place!”

9. “One of my old drinking buddies is coming over tonight.”

10. “I saw a great tattoo of a skull that I’d love you to get.”

11. “I don’t change diapers.”

12. “I made breakfast for the kids this morning. They even had coffee!”

13. “I bought a pet tarantula today. I’m going to keep him in our bedroom.”

14. “How about YOU put the seat DOWN!”

15. “It broke, but don‘t worry. I love kids.”

16. “I got you a treadmill so you can exercise at home.”

17. “I have a really kinky fantasy we can try tonight.”

18. “This shirt isn’t dirty! I’ve only worn it 3 times this week!”

19. “It’s time to get your tubes tied.”

20. “Wow! There’s a lot of rumbling going on in there!”