In the recent past, a lot of suicides have been reported in the papers in Delhi. This is to share my experiences on depression and written in public interest.

Last week, we received too many suicide death news in Delhi. There were 6 suicides and 300 attempted suicides because of the fear of the board exams. Three days later another girl committed suicide because of the same reason.(In the following week, three more people killed themselves) Last year three students committed suicide because of not getting admission in the right college. On December 10,2001 one person by the name of Amit Punya killed himself because of not being good at maths. In the year 2000 or 2001, I remember reading in the Times of India that 2279 students killed themselves all over India because of the awesome board exams. Last year on the ezboard forum also I read somebody commenting that the stupid perception of everything hinging on one exam was causing so many suicides. Today in the speaking tree(spiritual column of the times of India), a collective Japanese suicide is mentioned because there is nobody to listen empathetically. I finally decided to write this.

I would like to share certain insights because I have read some articles to the effect that in the 21st century, depression could be the no1 killer disease because though science has made tremendous progress, the psychological and spiritual development of man has not kept abreast. My worst suffering was two decades ago but what I learnt is worth sharing.

Before going to details, I would like to state what to my mind is a typical suicide. Somewhere in the late eighties, I was going to train one person on computerized accounting. After giving him a briefing, I told him to report on time the next morning. When he did not turn up for more than an hour of commencement time, I rang up his residence and was shocked to hear that he had committed suicide. When I rushed to his residence with some office people, I still remember his father with tears rolling down his cheeks, “ Only yesterday he seemed totally all right. How can one gauge what he is thinking.?” In the last 25 years, I must have read at least 10 suicides with more or less the same remark,” How do you know what exactly he is thinking”. That guy had an affair with some girl and lost her but the issue is that that happens to many of us but all of us do not react like that. If the person does not speak, how does one know how bad he feels about whatever may have happened.

There is no X-ray or thermometer here to know the degree of Negative thinking or sometimes even the fact that the person is thinking negatively. In technical lingo, there is no indicator. Many people have been raving about Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s new film “Black”. Based on the life of Hellen Keller, its about how a girl who is blind, deaf and dumb comes to terms with life with the help of her teacher, the redoubtable Amitabh Bachchan. Mr Bachchan in one dialogue tells the girl’s parents” So what if the girl is blind, deaf and dumb. She is not mentally retarded’ . Depression and mental problems are exactly the opposite” So what if everything is all right on the surface. What if there is some mental disability or false perception which is invisible. That actually makes it more dangerous. It is said "God is in the details" or " The deeper the water, the calmer the surface". Specially true in this context.

We will digress a little here. Mr Bachchan’s remark reminded me of something. One must also add talk about stigma related to mental problems. Some years ago I happened to go to a school of mentally retarded children not too far away from where I stay. A photo of Albert Einstein who was suffering from dyslexia but still rose to greatness here was hanging on the reception. The receptionist told me that they deliberately hung the Einstein photo to reassure parents that all was not lost. Einstein apart, Thomas Edison, Woodrow Wilson, Winston Churchill and even Tom Cruise were said to one or the other mental l problem. Even USA’s greatest president, Abraham Lincoln suffered two nervous breakdowns before he became what he became. That’s a pretty handsome crowd. What stigma?

In my view the stigma is more with the problem getting compounded because of ignorance and mismanagement than problem per se. I was just watching the Imran Khan- Shoba de interview a couple of days earlier when the Pakistani Cricketing icon stated that he formed the Cancer hospital in memory of his mother because he wandered what the ordeal of the ordinary man would be if with his money and connections, he could not do much. Similarly here, if there in an aversion to such people, one can remember that it would not be so if one’s own family member was in a similar situation.

In my case, after eighteen long years, I came to know that I suffered from a kind of depression in which the maximum number of casualties are poets. I would state here that I was so angry on America’s action in the Iraq war a couple of years ago that I ended up writing four poems . Now if you get that number of negative thoughts in negative moods with no experience of dealing with negative thinking, it could be fatal. It would not be out of place to mention here that the late filmmaker Gurudutt who made that immortal classic ,” Kaagz ke phool” which is also based on the life of a poet himself attempted suicide on two occasions before finally succumbing to it the third time.

The reason is that a creative person’s mind is like volatile swing trading-“Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai, aaj phir marne ka irada hai” . Many people do not explain partially because of the social stigma and partially because they don’t not know how to begin explaining’. A psychiatrist explained to my parents that in extreme cases when the patient is not able to explain, they sometimes hypnotize them to know what is going on in their minds. Another nuero psychiatrist had more than 10 pamphlets in his reception room in which it was revealed how to stop a potential suicide and in many of them the common symptom was the tendency of being lost in thoughts.

If you find somebody with a creative disposition in an unusually pensive mood continuously, it is a cause for concern. Albert Einstein had one said that “Imagination is more important than knowledge”. In this context, it is more important than the situation as stated by the problem” A person is not hurt by what happens as by his opinion of what happens” The problem is how do you know the other guy’s opinion or the depth of his opinion. Creative people are sensitive, have wild mood swings and imagination and therefore are three time more vulnerable. Some of the greatest discoveries of mankind have been because of positive imagination. Unfortunately, it’s a double edged sword; negative imagination can straightaway take away a life without kith and kin having a clue(like gone with the wind or gypsy camp vanishes into the blue).

Here are a few thumb rules of dealing with such cases and depression cases in general:-

The two most basic rules are occupational therapy and being social.

Some of you have been kind enough to describe my poetry as colorful. Here is an extract from an article on Meditation which appeared in the Times of India way back in 1983 :-

“Many people cannot concentrate on their work because their minds keep straying. Others keep worrying about their pet obsessions. These are the vagaries of the mind which prevent you from doing a good job at any given time. At the other end of the spectrum, you find people daydreaming a chain of colorful thoughts. So deeply engrossed are they that they loose awareness of what is going around them.”

The rest of the article is on how to overcome this problem through meditation. This is the negative aspect of colorful thoughts- they are so delightful that you cannot concentrate on any job . The second negative aspect is that in negative moods, you get an equal number of volatile negative thoughts(double edged sword) and if you don’t have experience of dealing with depression, it can be fatal. One of the best cures of depression is “Occupational therapy” which is used even on soldiers who face traumatic experiences during war time. The catch is that your concentration has to be good for this to work. I will quote “Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Concentration is the secret of success in politics, in war in all management of Human affairs.”

This is true for both linear and lateral thinking. Linear here implies mental thinking. Lateral thinking here implies that my mind cannot concentrate on shares because it is lost in poetry which implies that I am a poet and should concentrate on that but problem is it does not pay well. When both types of concentration(based on mental strength and interest in work), combine, the therapy works very well. At leas one of the two has to be strong. If both are weak, this therapy would not have much significance.

One of my father’s friends whose wife suffers from depression told me something in a better manner which I already knew from my own personal experience . He said that in olden times in the Villages of India, when somebody did something wrong, to punish him they would say “Iska hukka-pani band kar do” implying that that person should be ostracized socially. The significance was that nobody would talk with him. In depressed moods this would be an automatic punishment because the power of speech is an excellent mood regulator. In fact when the suicidal tendency really sets in, if the person n does not talk and laugh(Laugher, the best medicine) , he will never be able to overcome the suicidal tendency but he needs to overcome the tendency to be actually able to talk and laugh wholeheartedly. This seems like an obvious fact but it is a dangerous vicious circle. It is not easy to make a suicidal guy to even talk , forget laughing. The finer point to remember is that he has to be social with the people he most feels comfortable with which need not always be family members or close relatives. I feel that creating a good social ambience is the best way to stem an immediate suicide.

When you listen to the patient empathetically without interruption( read krishnamurthy for that), you achieve two things. Talking can change his mood and secondly, you understand him much better than would normally be possible since the problem is invisible.

Some 18 years ago when my mother asked me how I gauged improvement in moods, I mentioned bright light and she didn’t believe me. A couple of years ago, Australian researchers have confirmed that there is a chemical in the brain called Seretonin the deficiency of which reduces the bright light which is so essential to depression patients. I feel that Yoga is very useful in that respect. When you stay in an Asana for long, the secretions from endocrine glands ensure good moods irrespective of external condition or situation. Having been a chronic insomniac, I spent a year where I wouldn’t sleep for the whole night but an hour of yoga in the morning would keep me tingling fresh throughout the day. You can imagine what both Yoga and sleep can do. So a brightly lit atmostphere and Yoga would help a depression patient ; one psychiatrist even suggested buying infra-red lighting.

The most important thing of course is to solve the problem if you can. Amit Punya who died because of poor intelligence in maths is a particularly tragic suicide because with the advent of personal computers, most of the maths is done by them anyway and one only has to interpret. I used to myself remain extremely tense because of Maths but later in life realized that I had a flair for words. Even today, I love Microsoft excel and computerized accounting because I hate maths and numbers. Practical life works on complimentary synergies- one can always find somebody who can complement your deficiency in the actual practical work situation like the great industrialist, Henri Ford. One cannot and need not be good at everything. Besides, I have read articles(including a seminar on articifical intelligence) in which experts have not even been able to define what the word “intelligence” exactly implies If Amit had known all this, he could have been saved.
Most students kill themselves because of impractical perceptions.

Talking of maths, let us see what osho Rajneesh says

“The teacher goes on telling to the small children,” Give attention to me. Be attentive. They are attentive. But they are attentive somewhere else. A cuckoo is crying his heart outside the school building and the child is attentive. Nobody can say that he is not attentive. Nobody can say that he is not meditative. Nobody can say that he is in deep concentration. He is . In fact, he has completely forgotten the teacher and the arithmetic that he is doing on the board. He is completely oblivious. He is completely possessed by the cuckoo. The child is attentive. It is happening naturally. Listening to the cuckoo he is happy. The teacher is distracting and the teacher says that you are not attentive. He is simply stating a lie. The child was attentive. The cuckoo was more attractive to him. The teacher was not so attractive. The arithmetic has no such appeal. But we are not all born to be mathematicians. There are few children who will not be interested in the cuckoo. The cuckoo may go on madder and madder and they will be attentive to the blackboard. Then Arithmetic is for them. Then they have a meditation, a natural meditative state. People who choose the butterfly and the cuckoo are deemed rich because they are happy. This type of man will never need any method to concentrate. Because he is in concentration. His concentration is spread all over his life. Twenty four hours he is in concentration.”

Albert Einstein has himself admitted, "The hardest thing in the world to understand is Incom-tax". Should he have also committed suicide?


If the root cause of depression is not removed, there can be a bad relapse which can finish you off.. In the above case it was a false perception and false perceptions are like viruses in the brain. They multiply and multiply fast.in cases of wild imagination. Even in the article in the Times of India, it was stated that it should be prevailed upon the suicidal students that many people succeed later on in life even without getting good marks or even failing in the boards. They should get 5-7 such cases and explain to their lives in great detail because you never know what that guy’s thinking is or how deep rooted the fear is. In such a situation the best thing is to remind oneself constantly that the other guy’s mind is as different from yours as his face is from your face but invisible and one cannot afford to take chances.

One general practitioner told me that even if a snake bites you and you are fearful, you are supposed to take medicine instead of parroting “There is nothing to fear but fear” and all that. Where medicine for depression and fear is concerned, in my view one should follow the principle of funds flow management- short term funds for short term causes and long for long. Medicine for short and medium term and yoga and meditation for long term causes. I have not at all been impressed with medical counseling. Some of the stuff written in management and spiritual books is far better. One has to go to medical people because they are equipped better to deal with the situation but otherwise, any empathetic individual with a good intellectual bent of mind and communicating style can prove effective.

Another common thing people mention for depression patients is “ Try to see the plight of people below you, not the ones above you.” This can prove counterproductive in some cases because a fear crazed mind tends to see everything with fear. Besides, one has to solve the problem. If your child suffers from fever, you can say,” Don’t worry, at least its not paralysis”. That maybe good for motivation but one still has to take medicine for fever or that may go out of control and prove fatal. Issue is what happens if the problem is invisible or difficult to diagnose. Then it all boils down to the endurance of the patient.

Boredom can also aggravate depression. Osho had something very nice to say about boredom. He said “Either be a buffallo or be a Buddha “ . What he means is that people are broadly categorized in two categories- non thinking people are satisfied with mundane living and earning their livelihood and the intellectual class who think too much and are easily bored with monotony are always wanting to learn more , experience more. As it is, pensive people are more prone.

One can go on and on. Just remember that occupational therapy and social ambience are the best immediate therapies.

I must add specifically on student suicides as nothing is more depressing than young people destroying themselves because of immaturity:-

Basically the fear of exams is a fear of not doing well later on in life because the exams are deemed a stepping stone for later success which is not always the case. The latin meaning of the word education is educere which is to bring out what is already in instead of blindly stuffing in which implies that one has to discover one’s own intelligence rather than running blindly after qualifications. Many times it happens that one is qualified for something but when he actually attempts practical work, he does not have the aptitude for it. There is a book on successful intelligence which states that doing well in analyzing case studies is no guarantee that you shall get creative ideas of your own during the actual work situation which is absolutely true . My wife is qualified for English literature but has written nothing and I with an MBA qualification have written numerous poems and got recognition. So “knowing”( having knowledge of something) and “Being”( the embodiment of that knowledge ) is two different things. Former President Radhakrishnan has also stated that one has to match intution and intellect. Amitabh Bachchan has no formal training in acting but was a superstar. So rather than run blindly after qualifications and being scared of exams, try to find your vocation in life and focus on that.
In the last couple of years I have read the following books by American authors:-

1) What should I do with my life- Po Bronson
2) Achieving a dream career-Morgan and Banks(World reknowned HRD consultants)
3)Karma, Destiny and Career- Janette Hucknall
4)Working indentity by Herminia Ibarra

These are the ones I have read but there are many others. IF USA with its vocational, employment and career psychologists and its dignity of labor faces such problems, wonder what the situation in India is. As an HRD person from Assam stated, "Many people get lured by the glamour of money and qualifications. They then face a lifetime of misery and frustration"; again a cause for suicide.






I must add here a quotation by no less a person than Albert Einstein which appeared a few years ago, “ The hardest thing in the world to understand is Income tax”. There is a perception going around that Science people are the most intelligent, commerce are so-so and idiots take to arts which is deceptively false. Life is all about doing one’s own thing which is called Swadharma in our Shastras. Many of these suicides are by less gifted students whose Swadharma maybe totally different.

It would not be out of place to mention here the famous TV program “Indian Idols” which is bringing out hidden natural talent(swadharma) in this case of singing. This is real education and many of the people committing suicides maybe because of the fact that their real talent lies elsewhere which can be brought about my this writeup from a writeup by an HRD company

“ At least in India no one is surprised at children aspiring to become engineers, doctors , CAs or MBAs. Almost 60 percent think in terms of engineering or medicine and nearly 15 percent fancy their skills as CA s but in reality only 10 percent become what they dream of becoming. Have you ever wondered why children do not want to be artists, dancers, singers, painters or carpenters and plumbers. The reason is not far to seek. These professions do not have the ‘class’ or prestige associated with it. When they actually start working, they realize that they don’t have the mental make up for a particular type of job inspite of being suitably qualified“


When I was stressed out because of the exams, I used to consider even my friends as rivals because of the kind of competition exams can create. This is a very sad situation. There was a very interesting comment by Edward de Bono in this context which stated that the literal meaning is of the word competition is “Seeking together” In practical life, goals can be achieved only by teamwork and interdependence which is realized when you realize your own limitations as a human being. Socializing and being with friends is one of the ways to reduce fear.

For people who are scared of not going economically well later on in life and who think that exams are a step towards that one should remember that money is not the measure of a man. Both Sachin Tenculkar and Dhanraj Pillai are sports superstars but Pillai does not earn even a tenth of what Tendulkar does because hockey does not have that kind of market profile. That does not make Pillai or our former billiards champions any less .

This is very difficult to explain but people who are destined to earn well do so anyway though one has to keep doing one’s karma.. A brilliant actor like Naseerudin Shah does not do commercially as well as somebody like Govinda. Bad movies do well and good movies suffer. You may find four shops in the same locality selling the same thing- one may do very well although all maybe offering more or less the same stuff. So irrespective of qualifications, people destined to earn earn anyway but that should not make one complacent.

While the times of India has written an interesting piece on facing the exams, the issue is how to make all these things fructify. Saying things that “If you are weak, weak you shall be” can be grossly misleading. Industrialists like Henri ford and Akio Morita knew that they were weak in the family business and went to other areas where their strength was. So saying “I cannot “ can actually be a key to success. Therefore if you are weak, you are weak is a truism and the sooner you realize your weaknesses the better. You can also “have faith in yourself “ only when you know what you are good at which some people take a lifetime to realize; “The person who has found his vocation in life is a blessed human being; let him ask for no other blessedness”. Strength is life only if channelized properly and weakness is death only if not realized and timely action not taken. No sweeping generalizations.

In this context, I must add one more thing and since the article has become too long and I have mentioned Laughter the best medicine, we should end on a humorous note.

Last Saturday, I was watching a program on how some young people ruined their lives taking to crime wanting to get rich quick. I have come across other young people ruining themselves in trying the same with the stock market without adequate experience. Many depression cases are because of a failure of being somewhere in the rate race.. As an adolescent, I too thought that being born in a business family was a “get rich quick” advantage but that is selectively true . I used to also go around saying,”

Whether your father makes profit or loss
When you join him in business, you become an automatic boss

When your father is in business, you can be sure of one thing
Whoever may come and go, you will be the king

Whether it’s a factory, Restaurant or shop
The principle is the same; replace the pop at the top

I was missing the wood for the trees, not realizing that I was a poet, not a businessman.
It took 14 long years and a ring side view of and being completely outclassed(According to an Indian writer, an unsuitable profession is a lifetime imprisonment) by my school friend in corporate life and an outstanding corporate executive,Ashish Kundu who got three cars and six promotions in one year in a country where people can take a lifetime to own a a car. Though both the poems, “The joyful life of a businessman’s son” and “ My Guru; Ashish Kundu” are written in a humorous vein, considering the deeper implications, they flatter to deceive.

It ironical that when we bumped into each other in corporate life after parting in school, within 15 days I told him that he would be on top in the corporate world which proved prohetically true . When he read my poem,this is what he had to say about my concentration problems," There is nothing wrong with you; the day you find the job that you can do spontaneously and effortlessly, this problem will go away for ever" Now if only the education system could do that. Despite spiritual stalwarts Swami Vivekanand, Shri Aurobindo, mystic Osho Rajneesh,intellectual Krishnamurthy talking about it and even Einstein referring to it indirectly , industrialists like Bill Gates and Rags to Riches Dhirubhai Ambani following it, the fear of qualifications is still ominous. To my mind it is also failure of the information revolution and mass communication.