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McCollonough catbird93@gmail.com

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How to Deal With a Ghost
by McCollonough catbird93@gmail.com   
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
McCollonough catbird93@gmail.com

• 15 Lessons From My Niece
           >> View all

A humours guide to dealing with the family ghost.

 Here is a much needed list for anyone who is having or will be living in a place know to also be host to a poltergeist or two. These rules are quite simple, and if followed your life will be peaceful. Well as peaceful as it can get under the circumstances. 

 

1, Make sure it is a poltergeist and not a mischievous leprechaun. They are a whole another problem unto themselves. 

2. Sprinkle some flour or cornmeal on the kitchen floor, to trap any footprints that they might leave behind. This will also let you know if you have mice running around.

3. If you have to pay for water, manly turn it off at the pipe or you will have a huge bill next moth. For some reason poltergeist love to leave water running. 

4. The same thing applies to electric lights, but turning the breakers on and off each day is such as hassle. Just buy long lasting bulbs and pray your ghost or ghost don't discover a love for light.

5, If you find something is missing check the fridge, freezer, and every other weird or cold place. Ghost like things cold!

6, If your ghost likes to bang things into the walls at night, get your walls padded. I know it is pricey and folks will think you live in an insane asylum. But lets face it, you will be if you don't get a good nights sleep.

7. With that being said any food left out, will get thrown on the walls or floor by the ghost, so put it away.

8, If you find that they are constantly hiding your cell phone or other shiny object.  Leave out another but less valuable shiny object in its place. Saying in a very clear and very very loud voice. "I am leaving this for you,", hold up the less valuable object while hiding the cell phone under your shirt. Now say in an even louder and forcible tone. "See this?, This you do not touch" Most poltergeist with any sense of niceness will obey this command most of the time.

9, For all those other times when the poltergeist is bothering you to know in, just grin, and be thankful you are not living with a leprechaun. 

10, Last but not least, Remember this. When it comes to the poltergeist there are no clear rules, for they are basically four year olds on a sugar rush with crazy powers mixed in just because. 


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on August 23, 2017
A good laugh… Thanks.

Ron

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