In the African American community, 75% of households are headed by single mothers. That many children don’t even know what it is like to have a father at home every day. Many young people don’t even have a relationship with any positive male role model. Many young people are raising themselves and learning about life from their peers and or from a female. Many young men grow up not knowing what it is to be a responsible man. This is a fact. There are many commissions on Young Black men. These commissions study why young black males are more in prison then college, Why these young black men are an endangered species, why these young man die before age 25, and why these young men become fathers as young as 12. This has been an issue for over 50 years, and nothing has changed. The stats are still the same. Young black males are still the most scared of groups in America.
Young ladies without a positive male role model also deal with the same issues. They are not being raised to respect their bodies. They want to be grown and think they know everything. They fight like males and they are the most disrespecting students in schools. They dress like adult women and they feel that they know more then what can be told to them. They learn about sex and boys from watching TV. They want to be sexy before their time and many want to have a baby because it is popular.
Our youth are in trouble, and I feel it is because there is no positive males at home to provide them with how to be kids and grow up to be positive people.
As a father and grandfather, my message to families that have no man at home is: This message is for the mothers both single and married but without the man in the home. I have to be real with you on this subject and tell I grew up with my dad and mom in the house. Now my dad worked away from the home, infect his job took him away from home for moths at a time and I even remember him being gone for about a year. So my mother became mama and daddy. I know now that it can be very stressful at times but as a child I had no idea what stress was are what it could to a person. But now I can see that being a single parent whether or not you are divorce, single, separated the man being absent from the home brings many changes to the home and the lives of all involved. I understand that being a single parent puts demands on you, your time and you children, saying nothing about the energy it takes to be a single parent.
How would you know! You might be asking yourself, well if you must know I was a single dad myself raising my son and daughter. But after about two years my daughter left to live with her mother but my son stayed with me. But to make a long story longer my son and I ended up on the streets as a homeless family. And for more than three years I raised my son out of the trunk of my car. But what is the problem with the single parent, well it going to differ, but it’s really all the same. When there’s no man in the home you (the women) have to handle more responsibilities alone. But you are not by yourself there millions of single parents.
One thing I did and you might want to look into it yourself, I started going to classes to learn about being a single parent. I did this on my job, and the class was all women I was the only male, but I learned so much, we all did by coming together and sharing our personal stories. By doing this your experience and the experiences of other single parents will give you the chance to develop your self-confidence, make new friendship and develop new relationships with other single parents therefore being able to give support as well as receiving the support you may need. Now here’s the kicker, being a single parent is no pick nick, it’s not easy but you already know that. Here’s what I think the problem is when there is no man in the home, I found myself doing this very same thing. You are not the “father” you are the mother so be one! Stop worrying about the male not being home and start looking at how much better you can be as a mother, as a provider, and most impotently as a teacher to your child or children on the importance of who they are, where they came from and the greatness that lies ahead for their further. It’s going to take you and you alone to make the changes in your new single household for the positive outcome you know you desire for your children and yourself.
