Being celibate myself for over 20 years-and yes, I am still alive and breathing - no one would guess. I do see the advantages - of course the stakes are higher to get to me.

In the abstinence of sex, so quoted in celibrate.Org, "act of self-control which can show strength of character and can contribute to a stronger self-awareness," brings meaning to many professional women's lives today. The benefits considered can be powerful according to WebMD.

Without the extra added time of negotiation during dating, unexpected or unwanted pregnancy, avoidance of catching sexually transmitted diseases, and the acceptance of yourself from someone else for who you fully, are all credible reasons for abstinence.

What's more, couples who delay sex until their wedding night have more stable and happier marriages than couples who have premarital sex, according to the study, which appears in the Journal of Family Psychology.

The Virtuous Woman
Does this really make us who we are? IS abstinence in fact better for us?

Being celibate myself for over 20 years-and yes, I am still alive and breathing - no one would guess. I do see the advantages - of course the stakes are higher to get to me. I wrote a book to this titled, The Virtuous Woman, which revolves around sexual meaning and the choices in our lives as women. I was left in a perilous place with decisions on sex being a single mom, wanting respect in my life. I felt to sustain was the only solution. There are many other ways to obtain sex on your own without a partner that can be just as satisfying, which is concluded in my book as well. This leaves us to a place in control of our lives where we might have not had any. At this point in my life, I feel why bother with the aggravations that go along with sex if I've carried on this long without it.

Sadly, or thank heavens, I can't image having someone harp over me, wake me up with their snoring, or have an arm oddly swinging in my face unexpectedly in the middle of the night, or morning.

Perhaps I haven't found love again. But when I remember having love, I still didn't like these things. There are separate sleeping quarters, or beds, for this I do realize. I think it's the time that is involved after the act that enters into your life that you have to take into account.

As more men become responsible to their sexual decisions verses one night stands, we have our own set of decisions to make as responsible, professional women.

What do we want now? Can these men fulfill our needs fully anymore? My hope is yes, because I do still dream of that prince that comes and rescues me from my full file of papers and thoughts - a dreamer still perhaps. Calmly crossing the dry ground of the red sea, walking through the walls of water looming on either side as quoted in waitingtillmarriage.org, sounds like a better idea to me.

Think of what people will do when they are suddenly deprived of the person they love. They will cross oceans, conquer nations, and work their fingers to the bone. And all the while, they think of nothing else... The essence in the power of love is so great, it leaves us all to wonder. Wouldn't we all want this?


I know I quote my writing in my articles, but this is where my life brings me. I am constantly brought to reflect off society my social feelings. I wanted my son respected. I wasn't crazy about having an outsider father my child who couldn't love him as much as me.

Most importantly, I wanted to bring a strong man into this world to be able to stand on his own. If I, as a woman, couldn't show him this, who was going to? There were certainly many attractive, and still are, men out there. But why don't I jump at the opportunity for some fun, even now where my son is raised? I still keep coming back to the preserves of my nature and how I want to be treated. I also have no patience to give of myself of unnecessary time that is sometimes involved with this. And quite honestly, I don't enjoy it. But I think this is good. Only time can give us the right decision and the right place that we need and want to be in that is best for us.

Let me know what you think.