An example of how it might feel to be in an abusive relationship and why a person may stay in such a relationship for a long time before gaining their freedom.

Domestic abuse takes many forms. It can be subtle with the abuser being dominate and controlling. It can be the emotional abuse of being called names and being made to feel that you're stupid or incompetent-------- all the way to the most violent and deadly physical attack. It never gets better, only worsens with time. I will use the following story to explain only one way that an abuser can make you feel.

Imagine yourself in a prison with a 30 foot high stone wall surrounding you. You have some limited freedom to move about and do the things you're expected to do. At first you walk around that stone wall looking for a means of escape. But at the same time, you have a huge vicious dog watching your every move and nipping at your heels if you get too close to the wall. Maybe you find a weakness in the wall and manage to get out. The dog comes after you, dragging you back inside the wall and you're punished severely for daring to leave. You may go through this many times. Each time the wall is built higher and stronger. Eventually, you may become so disheartened that you give up, feeling it's better to stay and just do what's expected of you. You lose yourself as an individual with needs and wants and dreams. You only think about getting through one day at a time without being punished. You do whatever it takes to keep the dog friendly, no matter how humiliating the task. You are completely innocent of any crime, yet you begin to feel guilty and at fault for this horrible treatment. You are brainwashed everyday to believe this.

But the human spirit is very strong. It never really dies. It may be hidden deep inside but from time to time it will resurface. And eventually it will cry out at the injustice you suffer. It will demand freedom at all costs. When that time comes, you will free yourself. You have the power to do so. You thought you were abandoned but you realize there is help and support out there, just waiting for you to call out to them. Once free, you will be weak and need time to heal. But with help and support, you grow stronger every day. You rediscover who you are and make new dreams for a brighter future. And you make those dreams become a reality.

If you are still in an abusive situation whether it be mental, physical or both, please call out to those waiting to help. Don't wait, the abuse will only become worse. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If you are free and going through the healing process, remember it may take time. But there are many people to help and support you at this difficult time. You have the power and you will prevail.