AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  John Burns, iPamela Ackerson, iJudith Bailey, iJoshua Su, iDeborah Frontiera, iEmily Karlewicz, iFERIAL Haque, iJ and C Wordsmiths, iPaul Lonardo, iDave Tabler, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Thomas Garrett

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Stories
· Messages
· 20 Titles
· 25 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: May, 2006

Thomas Garrett, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.


When it comes to sports, folks get serious
by Thomas Garrett   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
Thomas Garrett

• Gray days of November
• Elephant talk
• Popsicle memories
• A taste of chicken
• Ode to the Hoover hog
           >> View all

It's amazing how some people care about sports.


This has been an interesting few weeks for me. I've been on loan to the sports department. Me, and sports. It's like putting Nicole Richie in charge of the buffet table.
Our friend Les called the other day and talked to Kim, and she told him what I was doing.
When he stopped laughing, Les told her he'd have to call me and talk sports. It probably should be sports movies, however, instead of the real thing. (And no, I haven't seen "Million Dollar Baby" yet.)
Now, I've done a little bit of everything in the newspaper business — except sports. I haven't run the press, although I hope at some point I'll at least get to push the button that starts it.
It takes someone who really likes sports — who eats, breathes and lives sports — to cover it. I watch the Cubs sometimes, listen to the Cardinals on the radio because I've always listened to the Cards on the radio and on occasion watch a little football, mostly for the commercials.
Sometimes I'll take in a little basketball. The only sport I've made any effort to follow is racing, and that's mainly been because of Mark Martin.
So, you see, I nibble, sniff and occasionally make a little time for sports.
Fortunately, we have a couple of guys here who are a bit more attuned to sports than I am, and they do most of the legwork, the real coverage, and a pretty darn good job, if I may say so.
I've just been putting the section together as best I can. One thing I've discovered is just how seriously a lot of people take sports.
Run out of room for the baseball standings one day, and some folks get purely bent out of shape.
Who cares about the stock reports, who cares about what's happening in Washington, they want to know about their baseball teams. On occasion it's been suggested I do something that would be physically impossible to achieve because we didn't get in what somebody wanted in the paper.
People take games seriously. It doesn't matter if they're baseball, football, basketball, golf, tennis or tiddly-winks, people take these things quite seriously, almost religiously. Some of the television sports folks even remind me of televangelists with their ardor.
I'd say if the sports gig falls through for some of these guys, they could make a fortune hawking used cars in commercials. Some of these sports show hosts are so energetic and enthusiastic you have to wonder if they just inject straight caffeine and sugar into their blood streams.
I saw one announcer who was so hyped he reminded me of a guy in college who pulled three all-nighters in a row prepping for final exams by imbibing coffee by the gallon, popping No-Doz like they were M&Ms and washing it all down with Mountain Dew.
Yes, we had Mountain Dew when I was in college. We also had electricity and indoor plumbing.
Actually, I think I've learned more about the vast interest in sports more than I have about the sports themselves these past few weeks. I do know that the Razorbacks are putting a lot of faith in the hands of a kid who's fresh out of high school, the dreaded Yankees are knocking at the World Series door again, and Terrell Owens should get down on his knees every night to say thanks for getting $25 million to be the biggest crybaby the Dallas Cowboys have ever seen.
I've also learned to make sure folks get their baseball standings. And golf results. And tennis winners. And college schedules. And ... well, you get the idea. I know I have.
Maybe if I just mainline caffeine, sugar and Mountain Dew and tune in "Sports Center" I'll catch a little sports fever. Or at least be able to stay awake for three days straight.
 


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on October 14, 2006
LOL I would be terrible as a sports annoncer......Hockey is about all I know and what I know could fill one sentence..maybe.....Hockey I believe is becoming a religion. Have you heard about the parties when the teams are winning and oh my the silence and anger if they don't? Yes sports people take their sports quite seriously. I see this in the store I work in. A person from the United States came in to buy some groceries and I was amused as I heard all the customers talking about the game that night........I turned to the United State customer and said, "Can you tell your in Canada?" LOL. He laughed too :-) Thanks for sharing your exprience.

Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  5.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Shot/No Shot
  9.  Losing Ticket
  10.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  11.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  12.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  13.  Imminent Danger
  14.  Getting Old In The Real World
  15.  More GFI
  16.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Toughest Million
  22.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  NEW KEYBOARD
  25.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V is humorous adult literature featuring adult content and language. The work satirizes and spoofs thirteen classic tales from U.S. and British literature, a  
Member BookAds

The Wholly Book of Genesis by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.  
Member BookAds

Homer's Ill Iliad and Odd Sea Odyssey by Jay Dubya

Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.  
Member BookAds