I'm reconnected with my adopted daughter... and coping okay with her living near birth relations...
Adopting a five year old I knew there was baggage; baggage or a trunkful, it seems.
A trunkful of pictures of relatives who brought her into the world and wanted to care for her but the state said otherwise; "freed by neglect"...was on the records. She was actually taken by the state and put in foster care.
Well, these same relatives were found and she opted to live in the neighborhood she was removed from all those years ago.
I have to live with that. She is a big girl and can make her own decisions.
Learning to live with what has happened has been one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I have to do it.
The trunkful was locked up and we helped her find the key. Our daughter opened it up and it will never be locked away again.
It was easier for me when it was locked. But harder for her. I remember when she had dreams or perhaps nightmares would be a better way to describe them when she'd tell me she imagined people all around her bed looking at her.
I believe the people were locked in that trunk...her baggage.
And now she embraces her baggage and lives with what she unlocked in her trunk.
I am learning to live with this, too. It takes time, but time is all we ever have. Time...and baggage.
Dear KarissaAnne,
Thank you for your comments. I helped my daughter find her relatives. If you have time, please read the other essays and pieces I ahve written in my den concerning my daughter. I hope you find the peace you are looking for. Take care.
Reviewed by KarissaAnneLowell
Reviewed on April 24, 2003
It is only natural for an adoptive child to want to know her true identity and heritage. Adoption erases that true identity and all. I know I am a throw away adult adoptee so is my daughter and many others of us who have been thrown away by our adoptive parents.
Reviewed by xainab dadabhoy (Reader)
Reviewed on April 22, 2003
I cant relate to the anguish and pain that you're experiencing reason being that I dont have kids of my own. But yes, i can relate to the raw sense of hurt and the stabbing ache, that can only be caused by someone that you love. But i am sure you have the satisfaction of knowing that you did the right thing. Prayers & Wishes for U, Alwayz! :)
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson (Reader)
Reviewed on April 21, 2003
It is always said, the person who raises the child is the true parent. Her bi logical parents didn't do this apparently. (raise her nor attempted too.) I know you have pain, but at least your daughter loves you and the rest of your family. Anyone wants to know who their real parents are. I even wonder about my Axelson grandparents, what they did, and all. They were cold hearted people. They wanted nothing to do with their son's family, sad isn't it. At least your daughter called you. I know you raised her and feel she is your daughter, who wouldn't? Happier days dear cuzz.
Ron
Democratic Dilemmas and Divine Inspiration examines the significance or relevance of the idea that the U.S. Constitution was, as many believe, divinely inspired. How much did that belief matter to founders of the nation and how much does it matter no
Thank you for your comments. I helped my daughter find her relatives. If you have time, please read the other essays and pieces I ahve written in my den concerning my daughter. I hope you find the peace you are looking for. Take care.
Ron