"It's alright to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it now and then."

--Richard Armour

          We all need to talk with other people and share our hopes, dreams, and fears.  But we must always remember that others also have a need to share their joys and concerns.  It is important to strive for balance in our conversations with others.  We must make sure that we don't spend so much time talking about our problems that our friends and acquaintances don't have the opportunity to share their thoughts with us.

          It is very difficult to maintain such balance in relationships.  There are times when we are hurting so much that we want only to talk, and have others listen.  This is alright occasionally when we are experiencing a major crisis.  But, sometimes our friends are undergoing a crisis at the same time, and they desperately need an understanding listener.  We must guard against the tendency to get so wrapped up in our own problems that we forget that others have problems too. 

          Some people are very open about sharing personal problems while others are so guarded

that they will share only if they are asked.  We may have friends who seem outwardly happy, but are hurting terribly because of problems of which we are not aware.  If they truly don't want to talk, we should not pry.  But, many times, they desperately want to talk and are just waiting for someone to ask them how things are going. We need to be available for our friends, and we should encourage them to feel free to share with us.

          Some of us are too hesitant to share with others.  We seem to think that needing to talk about our problems is a sign of weakness.  But those who think that way are very mistaken.  The weakness is in our inability to share with others.  It is absolutely essential for most of us to vent ourselves now and then.  If we don't, our repressed frustrations will build to the point that we will have a major health breakdown. 

          If our problems are so serious and private that we don't want any of our acquaintances to know about them, then we should visit a medical professional. We may think we can work our problems out all by ourselves without anyone's help but, in most cases, we cannot. We need to be able to communicate with other people.  And communication is a two-way street.  Just as we want our friends to be there for us when we need them, we must make sure that we are always available for our friends when they need to share with us.  Isn't that what friendship is all about?                 

Copyright 2014 Allen W. Smith

TB-105

Posted 07/03/2014

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