An ode to the one who made me the woman I am today

This year marks the 10th mother's day that I have spent without my mom. Every mother's day my mom and I attended her church where she received a white carnation on her lapel after the death of her own mom and I received a red one. I have found it difficult to attend church service on mother's day now that I am the one getting the white carnation pinned to my dress.

I think of my mother and all of the values that she instilled in me often. Some of them have been a help through this life and others a hinderance. Each mother's day without my mother has been just as painful as the first. This is compounded by the fact that my mother's birthday follows mother's day and then my own birthday the following week. Needless to say, my mother and I were as tight as we could be. We not only were born under the same zodiac sign but we were also born under the same sign in the chinese lunar calendar.

As I grew into adulthood my mom and I were beginning to slowly learn to respect each other as women instead of as mother-daughter. I had the upmost respect for my mother despite my defiance, dissonance and general teenage angst. In my twenty-fifth year I lost my mother and I feel I lost a part of my soul. She was the one person in the world who I felt loved me unconditionally. Sure she criticized me but she never stopped loving me. I have come to value unconditional love as it was offered to me by my mother. It is a rare quality, indeed.