We talk so much of success, but what of failure? and all that it can teach us, that which will aid, interestingly enough, in greater success.

Tiger Woods. Michael Jordan.

Boston Red Sox. New England Patriots.

Bill Gates. Warren Buffett.

Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing.

We're number one! We're number one!

Certainly we revere, celebrate, admire, even come close to worshiping those who win, who reach the pinnacle. But what is at the underbelly of every great success? Failure. Why don't we celebrate failure? Is failure so bad? I have frequently advised my students to fail, that they have the right to fail. And for me, failure has been a constant and intimate companion. A friend, perhaps. Over the years I've failed miserably: my first attempt at college, as a quality control inspector, at being a salesman, the first few years as a standup comedian. But through these failures I learned quite a bit about myself, the workaday world, people, motivation, inspiration, desperation, priorities, and so on.

The benefits and importance of failure should be taught in school. If a child gets an "F," we should congratulate him and speak to the great understanding and insight to come. In college, we should have a succession of failure classes: Failure 100, Advanced Failure 102, Failure for the Squeamish 131, Failure for the Perfectionist 192, Failure and You 222 for the New-age Student.

Why is failure so looked down upon? Admonished? Seen as such the bad guy? Failure is a great thing. For what do we learn from the most? Failure or success? Is it the joy of success and subsequent trips to Disneyland? Or is it the taste of defeat even in victory, a victor who can't look at his Super Bowl ring because instead of the thinking about the win he thinks about the one that got away, the Super Bowl loss. And it's not the countless number of great shows Madonna remembers, but the one that turned out a disaster, a supreme disappointment that she can't let go of.

My gosh! losing is so poisonous to most people that they will barely notice it in the movie Quantum Hoops about the Caltech basketball team and its 21-year losing streak. "Oh, but those boys are soooooo smart!"

There must be something to this failure, this monster?

Even George Washington came out unscathed after his first two big failures: the incident at Jumonville Glen and the battle at Monongahela. Failure once again not getting its just deserts. Even in lossing his first battle a newspaper focused on Washington's "high Reputation for Military Skill, Integrity, and Valor" (qtd. in His Excellency 23). But Washington knew that the school of hard knocks served him well. He was the master of failure, losing more battles than he won. So what did he remember from his first great defeat? "For the rest of his life, Washington remembered the scenes of the dead and the screams of the wounded as they were being scalped" (Joseph Ellis His Excellency 22). This horror, this failure may have robbed him of the pleasure of an extended idealistic youth, but it solidified his appreciation and abhorrence for war, not its avoidance but the necessity of its brevity and the importance of the freedoms of countless Americans to come. He also learned a great lesson in defeat, in how to fight within the confines of a mountainous, thick-forest terrain: "The massacre at the Monongahela was a costly and painful way to learn this harsh lesson but Washington learned it deep down, which was becoming his preferred way to absorb all the essential lessons (Ellis 23) (emphasis added).

The most significant lessons in life, those that we take deep down, are those that help us to come to the aid of others. For if we look away from ourselves, look away from the scathing pain they imbed in us, we look to the pain of others who have suffered in kind and find our humanity in them, find our hope extended and implant our hearts in theirs, bringing upon the world a greater light, a light that no darkness can take asunder, the light of giving, the light of power, the light of hope.

For all this holiday season, may we not see the great failure of He who gave his life for all, but the great hope of limitless life within. Do not look to the death of the soldier mauled in the battlefield beyond recognition but to the hope of the child who lives a joyous life from freedom preserved. Do not look to the loss but to the victor's celebration through your trembling hands and heart to the building of strength and maturity of character. Let all lessons of loss bring us closer to greater understanding, each other, and the importance of reaching out to the other over sulking, withdrawn and within.