You knew that was coming, didn’t you?

The Great Turtle Stampede!

Uncle Clyde tells of The Great Turtle Stampede! of ’43. Turtles stampeded through town with reckless abandon and wiped out everything in sight. The finest homes, buildings and outhouses, were, “obliberated.” There was upwards of seventy dollars in damages.

Uncle Clyde, showed us a family history archive that still had enough pages remaining from The Great Toilet Paper Famine Epidemic, to give us some insight on earlier days.

Turtle Creek used to be the Town Seat and the areas chief supplier of turtle soup.
According to excerpts from Turtle Creek’s Sister newspaper, The Tombstone Epitaph, that big “Industrist Typhone,” H. J. Heinz, waded up the creek without a paddle, from down the creek and struck a Turtle Soup deal with Turtle Creek dealers. He then turned around and waded back down the creek and caught a boat, with a paddle, and established a gigantic soup factory down river.
Further newspaper clippings were ripped off from this point.

Uncle Clyde remembers that nobody knew what caused the stampede but speculation speculated that something spooked the herd. Once it started it couldn’t be stopped.

After the town rebuilt new regulations to prevent such disasters were put into play. Turtle Farming was outlawed. Turtle Soup was outlawed. And the Turtle Soup Factory switched over to ketchup.
The most provocative aspect of the new regulations states that turtles are no longer permitted to congregate in groups of three or more.

Aunt Gertie says she remembers it well, “That turtle stampede swept through town and destroyed everything!...in a month and a half!”

You knew that was coming, didn’t you?

Cheers,
Bye George
NoPo8