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Blogs by Bob Avey
Twisted Book Tour 2/23/2008 1:55:50 PM
Life on the road can be hazardous. Like millions of other people, I wear corrective lenses, fixed into a framework to hold them on my face. About a month ago, my personal seeing contraption, better known as eyeglasses, developed an annoying habit of popping one of the lenses. I was taken aback on the first episode, quite confused by my sudden lack of vision, though upon instinctively reaching for the glasses only to poke myself in the eye, I quickly determined the problem.
This visual complication made itself known during my preparation to attend The Texas Book Festival in Austin. I'd been meaning to get them fixed. During that time, I wondered what might be the worse case scenario for the glasses to pull their little lens-popping trick. Dropping into the toilet came to mind. That would be bad. Falling through the crack between the floor and an elevator; during a job interview; swimming in a lake – the list seemed endless. But then it came to me. I was scheduled to sign books at the festival. I could see it clearly:
"Hello, are you the author?"
"Why, yes I am…" Pop. Plink, plink on the table.
I'd look ridiculous.
The more I thought about it, though, I realized that there were of course many situations in which this might happen that could result far worse than simply being made to look silly. During my trip to the book festival, I discovered one of them. Think, downtown Dallas, six lanes of traffic, being in the far left lane and realizing your exit is in the far right. I had about two seconds to remedy the problem before missing the exit.
Yeah, you guessed it. And let me tell you, becoming half blind during this already frightening exercise is not a good thing. I tried holding the lens in place and blinking my way across, but that quickly gave way to panic. Luckily I had a spare – a pair of sunglasses in the glove compartment. But ripping the old glasses from my face, opening the glove compartment, removing the sunglasses from their little custom case and slamming them into place, all in a time span of about one half second while hordes of angry truck drivers blared their horns at me is something I can truthfully say that I hope to never again experience.
The sunglasses were not a complete remedy. I wear bifocals and the shades are single vision, so while I could see down the road fairly well, reading the Mapquest directions I'd printed off entailed, not only taking my somewhat inadequate eyes from the road, but raising the dark glasses from my eyes and doing my best Clint Eastwood imitation: squinting to see the print.
I somehow made it to Austin. I was lucky to have done so.
However, I did receive a few odd glances when I walked into the hotel lobby sporting shades when it was dark outside. I repaired the spiteful seeing apparatus while watching the Home and Garden channel in my room. I had a great time at the festival, and the self-repaired goggles cooperated marvelously.
And lest you think I only experience the crazy side of life, let me share with you a tale on a different note.
While on my way to work not long ago, I stopped at a convenience store to get a cappuccino. As I got out of my car, I watched a young man, dirty and unshaven, with bruises across his face and forearms, approach a woman in the parking lot. I could tell by his body language, and the expression across her face that he was asking her for something, probably money.
Inside the store, the lady purchased a pack of cigarettes and gave them to the young man. He was so thankful that he nearly dropped to his knees, but the lady shook her head. "Don't thank me," she said. "Just pass it on, and do something nice for someone else."
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the lady's actions exemplify the message Jesus came to deliver.
I hesitate to follow that with this, but Autographed books make greatgifts. If you would like an autographed copy of Twisted Perception sent to someone, just email me at bob.bobavey.com and we can make arrangements, or mail a check for $17.00 to P.O. Box 535, Broken Arrow, OK 74013 with instructions on how to personalize the book, and I'll do the rest.
I also give programs for writing groups, reading groups, or any group that's interested. If you belong to a club which needs program speakers, keep me in mind.
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