For those that have followed the exploits of Naked Booksigning Man, naked superhero and all around pudgey guy, I recently was invited to the Watermelon Festival in Richmond Virginia.
To say that the bookstore had made all of the necessary preparations for a successful booksigning would be an overstated memtion. In fact, it would be an outtright embellishment leaning in the direction of a little white lie. They set up a card table in the broiling heat. I was positioned in between the dog watering hole and the dog version of the men's and ladies' rest rooms, the lone tree in the sidewalk. Lucky for the dogs that I was stationed just between these two spots or the dogs would have to watch some other dog taking care of business while sipping his favorite beverage.
I, of course, was treated to the fresh aromatic smell of dog with each change of direction in the wind.
Over all, the signing went well. I sold a few books, the store owner made a few dollars. I handed out several hundred book marks and the owner's trash can was filled quickly. I notice that the Skinny Dipping License seemed to stay with the customers, though. I am wondering if the Chinese buying spell that I had placed on the cards will kick in shortly. I noticed a few of the "I'll be back shortly" people did actually come back. Anyone interested in wanting this spell can receive it with the purchase of Nudist Among Us from the PA store. Tell them Allen sent you.
The book store owner and I played a game all afternoon. It is called "Go to Hell vs. Embarrassed to Buy It." The rules are simple. Everytime a person comes up and tells me I am going to Hell, we score a point for the hell side. If a person sneaks up to the table, looks around to make sure no one is looking and then quickly buys the books and runs, the Embarrassed side scores.
As the day progressed, the Embarrassed side was holding a narrow edge over the hell side. With the score 3 to 2, a third option came available. One of the first persons to buy my book returned to the table inquiring about a refund. I asked for the reason for such a request and he responded that there were no nude pictures of women in the book anywhere. When I reminded him that the book was about a Christian family and that the book was intended to be a humorous look at nudist life, he simply slinked away from the table. Now with the score 3 to 2 to 1, there seemed to be no way a the Embarrassed team could lose.
Except for the resourcefullness of idiots and hypocrits, this story would have ended without incident. It appears that the score of 1 for the No Naked People wished to be rescored and he brought along his pastor and a couple of others to tell me that I was leading others into sin and would be one of the ring leaders in .... guess where? That's right! H-E-L-L. This forced the Hell team score to 5. With time running out, the Embarrassed side conceded victory and Hell wins again.
Isn't funny that the Christian side always seems to help hell win?
