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Blogs by Diana J Legun
Nearly A Creative Casualty 1/28/2022 10:33:09 AM
Comedians often draw their laughs from things that aren’t funny. Scary, sad, painful, embarrassing things. I do that. Here is one of those things. Nearly A Creative Casualty
Well, ummm, I envision different ways to meet my maker pretty often. Some really unique ways that are horrifying or some even pleasant.
Today I nearly had the one of my creative casualties. It involves a paper shredder and a scarf. A long, dangling scarf I’ve made my friend who can conceal my aging neck parts. Anyway, there I am, leaning into an ill-placed stationery cupboard that has a paper shredder right next to it. As I bend down, my long, fringed black cotton scarf, free-flows to hang down below my floor-facing face. While there in that frozen second, I bring out of my attic the file called ‘creative ways to die,’ because all of a sudden the three-prong plug in the outlet there by my eyes is shouting at me with all its electrical current capability: “Go Back! You’re Going The Wrong Way!!” ‘Yes,’ I think. You are right, plug, I have had the vision of my loose long hair, the little of it I still have, being sucked into the razor teeth of this efficient, high-capacity, high-voltage demolition appliance and that scenario is plenty horrid. Absolutely, this wonderful wrinkle-hiding scarf brushing the blades of Hell would sure be the worst of the worst and happen so fast I probably wouldn’t know what bit me.’ So, I reach out to the three-prong and pull it from the socket the way Naveen Andrews (Kip), the Indian lover of the English Patient’s nurse, who was a disarmament specialist, cut the red wire ever-so slowly, carefully, hoping it wasn’t supposed to be the blue wire, not the red, sweat the color of pants-wetting terror raining from his forehead and dripping off his chin. Yeah. Like that.
More Blogs by Diana J Legun • Nearly A Creative Casualty - Friday, January 28, 2022 • Scrunchy Little Satires - Thursday, October 14, 2021 • The Fun of Petty Things - Wednesday, October 13, 2021
