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Blogs by Marilyn Thompson
Hello and thanks 5/25/2007 3:45:15 AM
Hello all and thanks for reading my random thoughts on this morning when I found myself awakened at 2 am unable to return to the blissful unconcious state that is sleep. I like many writers suffer from an emotional weight that cannot be named. Although it is often called depression I am not certain that is what it is. For me it is a collective group of subconcious worries as well as concious ones.In this blog post I will impress upon you one of my concious ones.
First and foremost on my mind is that my son(age24) is returning to Iraq in Ausgust for his second tour. I recall when he was there 2 years ago that I lived with constant worry. He reassured me that he was ok and never spoke of the actual near misses he had had.
When he returned the last time he had chenged and I had to get used to the person he had become because the person he had been was just in my memories. he had not become physicaly different but he was quieter and more introspective. He didnt speak much of the time he spent there or the things that he saw. Just that their group had been hit with an ied and one of the female soldiers was killed and that he had been the first at her side to give aid. He said he tried to hold her brain in until the medics arrived,. When I think of that I think of the small boy he was and it makes me cry.
He has said that he is ready to go back and that he hopes they will be able to stay until the job is done, because if they dont they will have to return anyway and the situation will be much worse. I support him but am torn.
How can I face another 18 months with him over there? I am not sure. I just know that last time I woke each morning and lived each day. On the outside you couldnt tell that inside my mind was on him every second. I am proud of him and all he is willing to do. He says that he does this so other people dont have to. I ask you all to keep him in your prayers. My heart will remain broken until he returns.
