I THOUGHT Y'ALL'D LIKE THIS!
Smile for Today
SOUTHERN WOMEN
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit
and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you
"PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip
greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general
direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as
in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a
pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might
not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of
solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried
chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's
trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana
puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right
near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just
down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference
between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the
flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a
verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and
when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover
they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and
coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a
breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a
breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you
know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do
not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want
buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at
little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just
say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy
and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I
hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a
second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here
for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front
porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as
fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but good friends are
fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the
South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We all know you got here as fast as you could.
