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Blogs by CJ Heck
The Silence 5/25/2011 6:36:51 AM
I talk a lot about going to the silence to find my center, and to find answers to my many questions. What do we really know and understand about the silence? That's pretty much how I felt, before my journey to awareness began.
At the time, I was living alone and I thought I had to fill my life with sound, even if it was only background music from the CD player. Often, I even turned the TV on low and went into my office to write, comforted by the voices coming from the other room.
After my spirit guide, Dinahh, introduced himself to me, my priorities began to change. Dinahh encouraged me to, "Go to the silence, Catherine, and be. Do not be afraid of the silence. You must find your center and open your heart. It is there that you will find your answers." (I always have a flurry of questions for him and his answer is always, "So many questions, Catherine -- be patient. You already have all of the answers. They are there inside of you. You brought them with you to this lifetime. Be in the silence and let go of your mind and ego. They will only stand in your way and try and take control. That is not who you are. You must dare to open your heart and listen. It is in the silence where you will find your true self -- and your answers.")
For many years, Robert has meditated to find his center, in the silence. I've tried to meditate -- I don't know why I can't -- maybe meditation just isn't for everyone. Maybe I have adult ADHD and I just can't sit still that long ... who knows? I do know, when I sit cross-legged in the dark and try, I can't seem to find my center (or anything else) and I certainly can't let go of my mind. Within just a few minutes, I catch myself ticking off a list of things I have to do, people I should call, and even things I need at the grocery. I know I used to be very good at daydreaming and I'm told daydreaming is also a form of meditation. But to sit in a comfy chair like Robert does, cross-legged, in the dark in total silence, one of two things always happens: I either fall sound asleep, or my mind creeps back in to take over.
Where I finally found my silence was when I was lying in bed one night, in that twilight area, just before falling asleep. All my thoughts were turned off and I was just beginning to feel myself drift off to sleep. Suddenly I "saw" a swirling of color, the palest shade of blue and, like a cloud, it spread until it filled my whole field of vision behind my closed eyelids. I knew I had found the silence, because Dinahh came to me then and told me so. Now, it works for me every time.
It's a wonderful thing, the silence. When you allow your heart to open, you get a sense of floating, a sense of peace, and an overwhelming sense of joy and love -- it's not surprising, since that's what we are and where we all came from. Everything is as it should be, and the silence? The silence is part of the magic ...
