Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado, click
here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.
Blogs by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
september 11, 2001--reflections upon.... 9/10/2003 2:25:23 PM
two years ago, tomorrow, our nation was savagely attacked, and because of it, our world as we knew it was forever changed, and we are at war.... as with any significant event, i can remember what i was doing at the time the event occurred~the day kennedy was assassinated (i think i spelt that wrong; anyway, i was watching tv when the news story unfolded, but i was still too young to understand; i was just but four years old), when president reagan was shot (same thing, but i was an adult now), the times the shuttle exploded (the first time i was on my way home from work from the olive garden, and i had the radio on; and they were talking about shuttle challenger blowing up over florida; and the second time i was in bed, asleep, here in my home in texas, and a huge "BOOOOOM!" woke me up; i thought it was nothing more than a sonic boom or a dumpster nearby being emptied; that was what the noise sounded like, only louder; but i didn't see nothing out of the ordinary when i looked outside), and of course, september 11, 2001.
on september 11, 2001, karla and i were watching the news, trying to wake up and get the fuzzies out of our skulls, and as always, karla turned on the news to see what was going on. nothing was; the news was just plain ordinary. but then, at 7:46 (our time), a breaking news story unfolded: a plane had apparantly hit the one trade tower in nyc, and it was on fire; and we thought it was nothing more than a plane accidentally running into it--planes flew around the trade towers all the time; and an accident was bound to happen--; but then! here came that second plane; it angled in and deliberately ran into the other trade tower and exploded in a ball of fire. that's when karla said we just had a terrorist attack here in america. i couldn't believe what i was seeing or hearing; it didn't seem real.
but unfortunately, it was. and then, karla went to work, and i went along, and then i overheard eli (a former co-worker) say that the pentagon had also been hit by a plane and it too was on fire; and then another plane had gone down in a pennsylvania field. it was official: america had been attacked on her own shores, the first such attack since the japanese bombed pearl harbor on december 7, 1941. but this attack was just as bad, if not worse: we were attacked by people who have absolutely no regard for humanity, and especially for those in america. they hated us americans and our land with an evil, black hatred that can't be reckoned with, and they wanted nothing more than to destroy us in the worst possible way. and then, the worst news of all: the twin towers, first one, and then the other, fell one hour or so after they had been hit by the planes. there was an incredibly huge loss of life.
when i got home, i snapped off the tv, and i cried and cried like i had never cried since my mother died 13 years ago; and all of a sudden, a paralyzing fear overwhelmed me. i was afraid for america, and i was afraid what would happen next; i had seen far too much already, and i didn't want to hear anything else. i was scared for my family, who is spread across the united states (my brother and oldest sister in utah, my second oldest sister in massachussetts, which really isn't that far from nyc; i was afraid she had been in nyc or had been killed in the attacks; and my parents--my daddy and stepmother--i call her "maman"--back in my former home in ohio). i was afraid they had been hurt somehow, and i feared for their very lives. whenever i heard a military plane (The only time i heard planes flying; the airports had been closed, and all planes had been grounded, the first time in history this had happened; it was eerily quiet--TOO quiet--), it was enough to send me in a panic. even though i am on a crutch, i still managed to run upstairs and fling myself under the bed, where i quaked in terror and cried out to god to spare me. i thought we were being attacked. i was absolutely terrified.
karla eventually came home later from work, and when she saw me, she said, "okay. that is it. we're going to church". we did; a church close to us had opened its doors to people who wanted to pray for america, and so we went. while there, i got delivered of the spirit of fear; and on the way home, i saw an angel in the clouds; and it comforted me. it was like god was giving us a sign, and he was telling me that "everything was going to be okay; america is in my hands". it really made me grateful, and i felt relief for the first time that awful day. i then went to bed--but not karla. she sat up most of the night and watched the news; and she wrote the first of over 500 poems. she said she saw things she shouldn't have seen, and it affected her deeply. whenever i would ask what she saw, she flat out refused to tell me.
i was given a gift for writing too, that day, but i didn't start writing until may of the following year (2002); i was still grief-stricken over 9-11 and the threat of war, and i just couldn't write down my feelings then. but once i started, i took off; and today, over a year later, i have written over 360 poems, nearly 700 stories, and over 50 articles on different things, including september 11, 2001. writing has helped me heal; and i think it is because OF my writing that i am a better person today.
no, i will NEVER forget september 11, 2001, and i don't think ANYONE should! it was probably the darkest day in history, and people died in ways that shouldn't have happened; and because of it, our world is faced with fear and uncertainty, especially now with the 2nd year anniversary of the attacks being tomorrow.
