Stephen Covey says that "we listen with the intent to reply" rather than to really understand what someone else is saying to us.  In fact the 5th Habit states "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

Listening is one of the hardest activities that a project manager does.  Yet, most of us are never trained to listen.  The brain's working memory is limited.  So, if we can go onto automatic pilot and shut out some of those millions of bits of information streaming at our five senses, we do it.  We hear superficially, but without really incorporating the information into our working memory.

So, if we are lucky, we hear something, but we may not hear everything.  What we hear, is then passed to the brain, often with critical gaps caused when our working memory was busy doing something else, like texting back to our friend or wondering what we are going to have for lunch.

Seldom do we accurately reflect back what we have heard.  We may require several clarifications to get it right -- assuming, of course, that we ask for clarification, rather than just heading off and acting on our imperfect information.

There are many places in the Tao that deal with listening and quieting the brain.  My favorite exerpt is the blunt six lines that lead off Verse 56*.

"One who speaks does not know
One who knows does not speak

Shut the mouth
Close the gates
Blunt the sharpness
Loosen the knots"

*Tao Te Ching, The Definitive Edition, Lao Tzu with Translation and Commentary by Jonathan Star, Jeremy P Tarcher/Penguin, 2001, page 69