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Blogs by Leslie Musoko
Pins and needles... 10/17/2010 1:26:13 PM
Hoping for an interruption yet there’s nothing back at me from the bland wall. Time elapses, blood is drained from the parts that matter, stiff legged, cramp or is it my neck? Doubt, an unhealthy recipe, must be avoided at all costs. Waiting, locked in this rostrum, my stage, my appearance, anxiety, nerves. Hoping for an interruption yet there’s nothing back at me from the bland wall. Time elapses, blood is drained from the parts that matter, stiff legged, cramp or is it my neck? Doubt, an unhealthy recipe, must be avoided at all costs. Waiting, locked in this rostrum, my stage, my appearance, anxiety, nerves. Can’t shout, can’t scream, falling backward, deeper, slowly coiled into a ball. I am in a room, no a cupboard. Music, ah my savior, not mad, not insane. This is real, standing before the mirror.
Suddenly head thrown backward and smashed violently through the mirror. No pain, no skull cracking. It is a passage, a doorway, through walls. My destination, I have arrived. Another room filled with water, fishes of many different colors, swimming with me. We are in synchrony, no it’s rhythm, music the chimes never departed. A door opens, my eyes follow the new arrival, it is a large cat, large yellow eyes shooting balls of fire. Time to run, I move, no glide to the next exit, door opens, another large cat appears, this time it’s fangs glistening. Inner shudder and wake up soaked.
I am breathless, try standing and collapse in a heap. Legs can’t hold me. What was that? What happened?
Two years later I go to visit a friend, he has moved into his new home and invites me into his garden. He leads me to the center and within it is a fishpond the size of four baths. There are fishes of many colors swimming in it. I am intrigued but hold my tongue. I have seen this before I think, but where are the cats? I return home thoughtful. I crab a bite and turn on the box. I am flicking through the channels waiting for this moment to pass. Then I am watching a favorite program, it is wild life, safari in Africa. The hunters are the female lions they charge on the wilder beast and kill without mercy to feed the pride.
Déjà vu, the present is my past, the third window is opened and I have been invited to the future. This thing about visions and dreams are a mystery to me but a pleasant journey.
