Like a robot, I jump out of bed every morning and set my altar on the table, with candles, incense and Buddha.  And I begin chanting amitahbari, amitahbari....  I've been doing this faithfully for nearly 3 years.  And for a few minutes this morning, I actually had no thoughts.  Then I realized I was not thinking.  Gone, lost.  The moment of serenity:  poof. 

That's where I am.  Numb.  I've finally had my book published or should I say, self-published, I've paid for everything so far.  It was semi-exciting to talk about the book I was working on.  But now that it's done , is it exciting enough that people will actually pull out their 10.00?  The money is going to charity.  I told my son that a friend of mine was going to buy 10 of them.  His reply was, I"m afraid your friend might disappoint you...and:  poof.

What people say and what people do; well, that's where I am.