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Blogs by Linda Lange
THE TOUGHEST LOVE 7/27/2013 11:02:53 AM
Did I give my friend the right advice about her cat? I volunteer at an animal shelter, so people often ask me questions about their pets. Usually I advise them to consult their veterinarians. “Do you really want to take medical advice from someone with a bachelor’s degree in communications?” I'll ask.
But this week I got a tough question that wasn’t strictly medical. Edith (a pseudonym) is a friend from my aerobics class. She’s probably in her seventies. Her husband’s health is failing, so they’re moving to an assisted-living facility. They have two cats, and they’re allowed to bring only one.
“Our one cat is perfect,” Edith said. “She gets along with everybody.” The second is a different story. This cat has health issues. She developed a sarcoma at the site of her feline leukemia vaccination. Right now the tumor isn’t bothering her, so Edith’s vet has advised against removing it, but eventually it may metastasize and kill her. The cat also vomits frequently, and she urinates on the carpet. Edith doesn’t know why. Sometimes the cat uses her box, so it probably isn’t something easily fixed, like the type of litter or location of the box. Edith tells me that the cat has never been friendly, and as she’s aged, she’s gotten worse. She’s attached to Edith and her husband, but doesn’t like anyone else. Once, she went up to Edith’s granddaughter and smacked her because the girl was sitting in the cat’s favorite place.
If Edith had only one cat, she’d prefer the “perfect” cat. But any of her children would welcome that cat. Nobody wants the other one. “What would you do?” Edith asked.
I hoped Edith wasn’t suggesting that I take the cat to our shelter. Some cats are grateful to come to a shelter, but those are the ones who are out on the street, wondering where their next meal is coming from. They’re thrilled to experience regular feedings and kindness. For house cats, it’s different.
If you think cats don’t grieve, you’re wrong. I’ll never forget a beautiful calico, dumped on the shelter doorstep. She enjoyed our attentions, but when we put her into a cage, she turned her face to the wall and stayed that way for days. Furthermore, the stress of the new environment can damage a cat’s health. I’ve seen a mild bronchial condition turn into life-threatening pneumonia. I’ve seen cats develop fatty liver disease because they didn’t eat. And it sounded like this cat would take her frustrations out on our volunteers, swatting and biting. “Your cat would hate a shelter,” I quickly told Edith. To my relief, she agreed.
“You have two choices,” I said. She could give the well-adjusted cat to one of her children and take the problem cat with her. “But what if she pees on the new carpet?” Edith asked.
“Maybe she won’t,” I said. “Maybe she wants to be the only cat, and she’ll be happier when she is.
“But if you love this cat,” I continued, “it might be kinder to put her to sleep. If she’s going to be stressed and unhappy and get sicker—if she’s going to die anyway, it would be better if it’s quick.”
I knew I was right. Then why did I feel like I was murdering a cat? “I’m sorry,” I said. “I know it’s hard.”
Edith smiled sadly as she climbed into her car. “It’s something to think about.”
“It is,” I agreed. Unfortunately, it’s something those of us who work in shelters have to think about too often.
What do you think? Did I give Edith the right advice?
