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Blogs by Jennifer C. Wroe
No poetry tonight 8/11/2013 11:29:35 PM
So, normally I write poems when I want to put my thoughts on paper, but not tonight. I've been up all night after giving my son a bath. I had this memory hit me like a brick and brought me to tears. As I sat there rinsing the soap off my 3 years old, as I pour the warm water over his back it hit me. I was maybe 6 years old, living in a bus, no heater, no bath or shower. Getting ready for school on a very cold morning I had to take our version of a bath. We had a bucket full of water and a washcloth. It was horrible! One of the many bad memories of my childhood...but that's a story for another day. What brought me to tears though wasn't just the memory, but the realization that my son will never know what that's like. To stand there freezing cold praying that it would be over soon so you could just get into your warm clothes and to school for breakfast and warmth. He will never know so many of the things I went through growing up. What shocked me the most was that the memory actually made my heart ache. For who? I guess myself...Can that really happen? My heartbreaking for the child me? Or was it not breaking, but mending knowing that I can provide a better life for my child. There are many nights that I spend thinking that there isn't one thing I wouldn't do for my son. This precious, amazing innocent boy. It often brings my mind to my childhood and how it will never be that way for him. Tonight though, that one moment, seemed to bring to surface so many emotions all at once. I still have so many thoughs spinning around in my head tonight, but it's time for me to call it a night and try to get some sleep...if at all possible.
