As Christians, we know that we should have a “servant's heart”, that we should be humble and willing to do whatever it takes to serve one another (within scriptural bounds, of course). Jesus Himself said that He did not come to be served, but so that He could serve, and to give His life away. (Mark 10:45) When He humbled Himself and washed the feet of His disciples, He told them that He had done it as an example of how we are to live our lives. (John 13:15) So obviously, being a servant to others is high on His list on what He expects from us.
But Christ also chastised Martha for serving too much, while commending her sister Mary for taking the time to simply sit at His feet. So, as with everything else pertaining to following Christ, there must be some kind of balance He's looking for.
I think I kind of got off balance somewhere along the way, and I need to check myself, I need to measure my motives.
God gave me a genuine desire to serve, to help people around me any way I can. If I see a need, I automatically feel empathy and try to figure out if I can help to meet that need, whether it be practical or emotional.
But what happens when all this “need-meeting” keeps me from the feet of Jesus? What happens when I'm so overwhelmed with “serving” others that I neglect using the gifts and talents He gave me? At that point, I must no longer be in obedience, but I must be doing it for my own selfish pleasure.
It's hard to say no when “Cecily” says to me, “You're the only one I can talk to. Everyone else at church ignores me.” Or when “Rodney” says things like, “You're like a second mom to me. I don't know where I'd be without your advice.” And, as a fitness instructor, my personal favorite, “You're the only one who can motivate me to exercise. All those DVD's are so boring, and the other trainers don't explain things like you do.”
But the girl who says I'm the only one she can talk to has a different “crisis” each week that she wants to spend hours talking about, so that cycle is neverending. The young man who wonders where he'd be without my advice is still in exactly the same place as before I took him under my wing, unemployed and stuck in a particular sin that he shows no interest in overcoming. And my exercise protege has not lost an ounce because she refuses to follow my dietary advice or to do any exercise at all outside of my time with her.
When I look at the fruit of all that time spent on people like that, or rather the lack of fruit, I have to wonder if I've been sowing seeds where God didn't tell me to sow them, casting pearls before swine? Or just doing it for the wrong reasons altogether.
After all, I like to feel important and special, I like to think that I have that much influence on someone else's life. I enjoy the thank-you texts on my cell phone. But having my ego stroked should not be the point of serving others. My actions should glorify Christ, not me.
Tonight, I turned off my cell phone and spent an hour writing, because that is another passion that He put in me. I've allowed that gift to fall by the wayside in favor of letting others steal my time when they should be looking to Him for help instead of to man. I need to stop allowing myself to be manipulated by flattery, sincere or otherwise, and be more sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit.
I never want to lose that desire to help others, but I don't want to squander the time that I should be spending with Him or doing the things He called me to do. Because if I am serving for the wrong reasons, those thank you notes and flattering words are the only reward I'll ever get!
Matthew 6:1 “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven.”
