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How (Not) to Pick Up Girls 5/9/2015 12:26:13 PM
See title Ah, spring is in the air, and with it, as girls begin to peel off layers of clothes and embrace the sunshine, a young man’s fancy naturally turns towards love.
It has come to my attention that there are some of you guys out there carrying around a bag of the worst pick up lines imaginable, some of which have yards of dust on them, which can never hope to possibly work for you unless you’re one of those miserable bastards who doesn’t need to say a word in order to find a warm bed to jump into.
Lines such as: ‘I don’t know what your name is, so can I just call you mine?’ – If your only desire is to in some fashion or another get touched by a girl, this line might actually work for you on a real basic (slap across the face/knee in the nuts) level, but otherwise forget about it.
And if that one doesn’t, this one, at least, should: ‘My friend over there wants your number, so that if my phone dies overnight he can still reach me in the morning.’ - Hell, this might even get you an E.R. visit, where you might possibly be touched by one or more pretty nurses.
How about this one: ‘Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?’ – Do you believe in mace screwing up your sight, or should you walk away?
Here’s a chestnut straight out of your grandmother’s scrapbook: ‘Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.’ – How sweet. I think that I just got a toothache and a stomachache, and the word of the day which she will scream with passion is RAPE, and good luck with that.
