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Blogs by Kit Kingdom
A Study of Studies 6/20/2015 4:40:30 PM
A humorous look at studies Studies have shown that people will take for free things that they would never pay for – so in the spirit of that particular study, have a free copy of my e-book WHAT’S IN A NAME? on me – see bottom of post for details.
I shall take this opportunity to showcase a study on studies.
Now, I’m not talking about Social Studies, although there is a lot of social networking, or something anyway, going on in the studies of which I speak.
Nor am I talking about Science Studies, although these studies are a science to the people behind them.
I’m not talking about studying for a test or studying up on how to cheat on a test, although I do suspect that there is probably a certain amount of cheating in the studies of the hour.
These are studies conducted by people who have already studied up on how to cheat and have gone on to do it in their professional lives.
These new (always new) studies appear on TV and elsewhere daily detailing facts that people who have been living under rocks in the middle of nowhere for longer than they’ve been alive have known for even longer than that.
Example: A new study has shown that it’s unsafe to breathe, as doing so is guaranteed to lead to cancer because, as another new study has shown, everything leads to cancer. Scientists suggest that citizens stop breathing until they die, lest they die as a result of breathing. They advice that this is probably the best chance people have to stay safe and healthy.
Some, most really, of these studies don’t actually tell us anything, but only suggest it; i.e. In a late breaking study doctors suggest that the best way to stay alive might be by not dying.
For a lot of these studies if the person or people conducting them did more than surf the web for like five minutes, they did something wrong. How much effort does it really take to find common sense facts that people without common sense have known for two hundred years.
One method of conducting studies is through surveys and polls and tests, per se; the results of a new survey reveal that more people would rather have a hammer dropped on their foot than to be hit in the face with it, although after tests were completed the people who were hit in the face with the hammer complained less overall than did those who had it dropped on their foot. In fact, most of them just quietly lay on the ground motionless.
Internet surveys and polls are a cakewalk. Type in a question and wait for people to get back to you.
Here’s an online survey question for you: A recent report states that the color of the sky is black, as we see it at night, but that it looks blue to us on a clear day. This fact suggests that it has been physically abused, because why else would it be black and blue? Do you agree or disagree?
Yes – I think that it’s been beaten half to death.
No – I think that it’s only faking having been assaulted in order to gain attention.
The results suggest that it has probably been beaten good, but that it’s probably still not good, so therefore it probably needs to be beat some more.
How did you do on the question? I need to know for a new study that I’m conducting.
Here are a handful of reviews:
- A story of undying love or something like it.
- Hard to pick up and harder to put down.
- Not bright and cheery by any means, but worth the effort.
- Just when I thought that it couldn’t get any worse, it did!
- It took me by surprise over and over again and left me in a state of shock.
