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When Does Gambling Become an Addiction 8/17/2019 5:20:57 PM
The purpose of this article is to give you some signs of gambling addiction and what it's like being a co-dependent. I call Gambling Addiction "the Silent Addiction" because no one really talks about it because there seems to be a different stigma attached to gambling. In a lot of cases, people continue to live their lives as if nothing is going on and the people they interact with have no clue what is going on with that person. The people who feel the effects most and are collateral damage is the family. The person is missing from the home, not attending significant events or when he/she is home they are withdrawn. Gambling seems to be a cerebral thing as opposed to being addicted to something that you ingest. The person thinks they can control their addiction when in fact, they can't. They need help just like any other addict.
CO-DEPENDENCY
While you think you may be helping the person by helping them "hide" their issue, you in turn make yourself a co-dependent. As a co-dependent you may think you are helping them by keep their dirty little secret or by assisting them with their funding. None of it works and it does nothing to help them or you. You think that you can change them or talk them into getting help - you can't. The person can't change or won't change unless they want to do so. They have to be able to admit they have a problem like any other addict.
The co-dependent tries to help by controlling their money but where there is a will there is a way - whether the person steals from the family, borrows from anyone and everyone or gambles on credit. They will find a way to continue their habit regardless of what you do.
As the co-dependent, you need help as much as the addict to understand that it's nothing that you did or didn't do to drive them to this. It's something within that person that prevents them from seeking help.
As a co-dependent you hope and pray that they get it under control and seek help before everything goes "south". Usually, it goes too long and then you, the co-dependent, is stuck trying to dig yourself out of debt or whatever the situation may be.
After the person has angered you again and now they are trying to do the right thing. YOU feel guilty and now start feeding into "maybe they really are trying to change" and no sooner than you fall into the trap, he/she starts doing the same thing all over again. The person does this to try and deflect the negativity away from them and transfers it to you. It's hard but you have to be strong and have a good support system.
WHAT IS CONSIDERED GAMBLING?
People think of going to the casinos and spending a lot of money on the slot machines but any type of betting is considered gambling. Betting on the races, sporting events, playing the lottery and playing card games of any kind where money is involved. Does it mean that we are all gamblers because we've done at least one of those things. No! Like anything else, it can be done in moderation. It's when you have to do that thing or your day is not complete or you become restless because you can't gamble. When you find gambling more important than putting gas in your vehicle. Those types of behavior is what leads to be considered an addict. When you lie to your friends where you are spending your time or you lose track of time because you are so immersed in your gambling. That's a problem.
When the person gambling is gambling just to be gambling and doesn't care whether they win or lose. Gambling for the "thrill" of it. Gambling regardless of their family and possibly losing family, cars or homes. I heard someone say once that they continue to be an addict because they are looking for that "high" they experienced the very first time. You my friend have a serious problem.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
1. RUN! It may sound funny, but if you can, you need to let the person deal with it especially if they are not willing to get help because of the consequences involved. Your credit score may be impacted, you may see your self in foreclosure, your cars may be repossessed or your job may even be in jeopardy. If you can't run, try to find ways to cope with it, but not get sucked up in it.
2. Like I stated earlier, find a counselor of some kind to talk to. You'll find having an objective person is a good outlet.
3. Have a good support system in place. You have to get over the embarrassment of sharing your situation with others. Unfortunately, you may have to borrow money or seek refuge.
4. Take control of your finances immediately.
5. Be prepared to make hard decisions.
