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Blogs by Elise C Davies
Is This For Real???? 2/3/2025 4:24:59 PM
This is Ryan Roberts reporting from downtown Boston, in the year of our Lord, 1774.
We print all the news fit to be printed...and some that is not.
Our motto here at the office is...what? Today, there is grave news of a planned attack upon British ships carrying tea provided by the East Indian Company via Chinese sellers.
This actually happened last year but news has been slow today and it's our job here at the 'media center' to stir up trouble and strife among the rebellious colonies.
We get a lot of kickbacks in the form of King George bumper stickers and fake wooden teeth, which will be a big item after George Washington becomes President later down the road.
Film at eleven!
People dressed up like Indians, (not those Indians) the ones that wear feathers and are members of the group: YMCA singers...are said to be behind this travesty of justice.
It wasn't even Halloween which hasn't been invented yet. I'm just happy to report that no one thought to dress up as that Friday the 13th guy that hasn't been invented yet either.
These rebel rousers climbed aboard ships and heaved chests of tea into the Boston Harbor. Mistress Benefia Evers was also heaved over the side of some unidentified brothel balcony by accident. The would-be Indians just got carried away, a spokesman for the group explained later on.
An official apology has been issued to Mistress Evers.
On the bright side, this is a very happening type of year. We here at the Boston Gazette predict many unsanctioned acts on the horizon by both militant troublemakers and political enthusiasts alike.
So, if you enjoy such emotionally charged stories, just remember to hit that ‘like’ button and don’t forget to subscribe to our ever-growing franchise. Merch available soon!
