An unknown, anonymous source who may not even exist but, is considered highly reliable by CNN has alleged that in 2008 Donald Trump was arrested in Central Park for indecent exposure and possession of illegal drugs. Further investigation by Ipso Facto News (IFN) revealed that the real culprit was CNN's own reporter, Richard Quest. The annoyingly affectatious Mr. Quest was cruising the gay area of the park with a rope around his neck, a bag of Meth and his middle leg attached to some sort of leash. The strutting Dick insisted that there was no hard evidence to apprehend him despite claims by the attending police officers that salient evidence was quite hard indeed. CNN promptly rewarded their acclaimed journalist with a three month paid suspension (vacation). The network stands by their original report and insists that it will be vindicated once the avalanche of hearsay & innuendo regarding Russia's collusion in the 2016 election succeeds in trumping common sense. When it was pointed out that both stories are an insult to the intelligence of the American people and that there could not possibly be any connection between the two, a chorus of multiple sources inside CNN replied, "So?"