AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Flo Fitzpatrick, iMatt Miller, iEmily Karlewicz, iMiller Caldwell, iLalita Vasu, iShirley Francis-Salley, iMaryAngela Nangini PhD, iChristina Neely, iGracie McKeever, iMargot Dillard, i

  Home > Humor > News
 

Rainbow Starburst

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Messages
· 48 Titles
· 51 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Oct, 2007

Rainbow Starburst, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Share Save       


My New Resume
Friday, April 18, 2008  2:31:00 PM

See larger image

by Rainbow Starburst



Humor
Following the unbridled, rampant success of my first published book, it begins to appear that I''m not quite ready to retire onto my 67 foot yacht in the Florida Keys. So, attempting to be a tad enterprising, I''ve decided to rework my CV (ColonialSpeak: Resume) I would appreciate people''s opinion on my new CV, towit:

Dear Mr/Miss/Ms Potential Would Be Gissajob Employer

Re: Gissajob, I can do that!

Work History

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef. I figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout centre, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realised there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

I am a published author, but I can't get booked anywhere.

GissaJob, I can do that

Sincerely
Bereft Author
Rainbow

New Book, In Production

Click here

 


 More News about Rainbow Starburst
Virtual World - 8/4/2008 4:00:00 PM

HELP! Please! - 7/3/2008 10:13:00 AM

Guess Where... - 7/1/2008 1:37:00 AM

Sex Change?????? - 6/1/2008 10:54:00 PM

Battle-Scarred Heart - 5/29/2008 2:43:00 AM

Not Stephen Hawking - 5/22/2008 9:51:00 PM

Battle-Scarred Heart - 5/9/2008 4:58:00 PM

Battle-Scarred Heart - 5/6/2008 7:21:00 PM

Where To Find Me - 4/29/2008 4:18:00 PM

Battle-Scarred Heart - 4/23/2008 2:18:00 AM

Leonardo da Vinci - 4/16/2008 12:59:00 AM

Battle-Scarred Heart - 3/24/2008 11:44:00 PM

Review From Authors Den - 3/18/2008 5:59:00 AM

Interview By fellow Author - 1/23/2008 7:21:00 AM

NEW BOOK - 12/25/2007 1:06:00 PM

New Book On The Horizon! - 12/8/2007 3:51:00 AM

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Popular Humor Books
  1. Love is a Pretty Girl with a Cape to S
  2. A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon an
  3. The Council
  4. What You Should Know About B.A.N.F.F.
  5. Blöd Ties
  6. Homer's Ill Iliad and Odd Sea Odyssey
  7. Parody Paradise
  8. The Demon of the Shadows
  9. Moon: The Potato Planting and Blueberr
  10. Soldier's Gap
  11. A Spoonful of Humor
  12. A Christmas Carol, Jay Dubya
  13. Bygone Days
  14. Lake Superior in the Moonlight: Yooper
  15. How The West Was Lost
  16. Bayou Halloween
  17. A Perfect Fit
  18. The Knowledge of The Bearded Clam
  19. 101 Pet Peeves
  20. Let Freedom Ring (A Cozy Retirement My

The Wholly Book of Genesis by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.  
Member BookAds

The Demon of the Shadows by Ronald Scala

A historical horror tale of demonic possession and heroic courage  
Member BookAds

Homer's Ill Iliad and Odd Sea Odyssey by Jay Dubya

Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.  
Member BookAds