Amazon authors have a public forum they call “Community,” wherein a tribe of harpies pretending to be intelligent magpies are inclined to smother with guano anyone who questions their wisdom in regards to Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing policies. The excremental effusions are ranked by means of a socialistic scheme and made accessible on the Web so that the foulest criticism, often in the form of red herrings completely off subject, may get the highest reputational ranking on the search engine, wherefore the victim who dared to ask the question is defamed on the Worldwide Web by Community participants considered most reliable by their ilk. If the victim responds in kind and proceeds to make a good point, an Amazon Kindle moderator shuts the conversation down.
I asked Amazon personnel a simple question appertaining to the advertising of books, and I was referred to this very Community after being run in a circle and ping-ponged between Amazon departments. I asked why Amazon does not provide click counts for the free book ads it provides on its search engine to authors who post books on its “bookshelf,” so then they could see how much traffic is being drawn by the free promotion programs Amazon provides, as opposed to the paid programs where such statistical information is provided.
I am rather naïve in my third childhood, so I expected to be greeted warmly by colleagues smoking cigars over a glasses of port while engaged in dignified discussion of their intellectual pursuits. That was far from the case, although two such gentle persons did respond courteously and intelligently: one answered under her own name; the other replied under a “nickname,” because, as I was duly informed, the participants in Community affairs have often engaged in the nastiest conduct, going so far as to flock to authors' Amazon advertisements and give their books crappy reviews.
“You're welcome,” I replied. “Bad reviews are better than none.”
Then the highly ranked harpies had at me. A magpie kindly warned me that I would be made a public fool of and my reputation ruined because the proceedings were publicized by Amazon and generally made available on the internet—I did not know that at the time. Instead of directly answering my simple question, the existence of the existing data was denied. The Amazon cover I used for my books was impugned; that was irrelevant to my question, as was the sneering comment made by one “Ding Ling,” an anonymous Amazon troll, whose “reputation” is quite high, thanks to the Socialist Credit System of Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing Community, that my books are incoherent ramblings, a remark made in support of his flock's view that I am insane and just another one of the idiots who appear in the Community from time to time.
So I have entitled this book 'Random Ramblings' to honor the harpies who disparaged me in their Amazon Authors Community for asking a simple question about an n advertising policy. It may not be so random, however, even though the little book is just a few pieces I picked up and slapped together haphazardly. If everything were known, it might be the case that the book was curated by the holy ghost to cleanse off the guano that my colleagues heaped on me.
Some readers will like 'Bawling Babies at the Bowling Alley,' while others will appreciate the truth in my advice to 'Lie On Resumes.' The automatic spell checker at Amazon will be wrecked by 'Min God Spelynge.' Retired hippies will like 'Horrors of Acid.' Potheads will chuckle over how I met 'Retardo Culo.' Folks will get high on 'Slime Cake.' The religious will be amused or horrified by 'The Real Kingdom of God on Earth.' Up front is a little poem for Hitch at Book Nook, whose website and profile picture in Community I loved.
As for my question, Amazon finally responded with great courtesy. I was informed that it is being discussed as a “suggestion.”
Hitch at Book Nook, an esteemed Amazon contractor, after denying that any such data was available, and publicly derogating me for thinking that there was, advised that Amazonians had harangued Amazon since 2009 on that subject without effect. I would probably be told, she said, that the writers are the publishers and it is up to them to advertise. Of course that service is provided by Amazon for a fee.
The link to Random Ramblings is below. This is not a solicitation. And if you cannot afford .0001 per word for my work yet still want to read it, please let me know, because my objective is obviously not money.
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