Hello,

Here is your January issue of Take Charge Success
Strategies. We're beginning something new this year. We want
to include your good news stories. In this issue I will
introduce Eli and Annette. Send in your good news and the
next issue may feature your story.
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Volume 6, Number 1 January 2006

Publisher: GoalMinds, Inc. E-mail: condrill@goalminds.com
http://www.goalminds.com Copyright 2006 Jo Condrill All
rights reserved

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"Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing
on what excites you."

-- Oprah Winfrey

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Donna Seebo, Award Winning Author, Host of “The Donna Seebo
Show,” has invited Jo to be her guest on Wednesday, February
8, 2006, from 8:15 to 8:45 AM Pacific Time.

The show airs on radio station KKNW 1150 AM in Tacoma, WA,
and is streamed ‘live’ on the Internet,
http://www.1150kknw.com

The topic of this interview is “From Book Signing to Best
Seller: An Insider’s Guide to Conducting a Successful
Low-Cost Book Signing Tour,” Jo's book which was recognized
as the “Best Writer’s Reference Guide” in 2002 by the Bay
Area Independent Book Publishers Association. Jo's book
signings include the Barnes and Noble store in Rockefeller
Center, NY; Her longest tour included 13 cities in the
Southwest.

Jo will be giving away copies of the book on the show! Tune
in Wednesday, February 8, 8:15 to 8:45 AM Pacific time. Tell
your friends that they can hear the show live from anywhere
in the world on www.1150kknw.com

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IN THIS ISSUE

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1. An Attainable Resolution

2. An Important Lesson From Eli

3. 'I Made a Mistake'

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The first two articles in this newsletter are by our guest
author, former teacher, Annette Bass .

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1. An Attainable Resolution

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As I was reading through the sale flyers in the paper at the
beginning of the year, I was reminded that the new year
often brings with it resolutions. Every year I can count on
“Last Chance Christmas Sales” which remind me that time is
short, but I can still get up to 50% off on the latest,
greatest things. Then come the “New Year’s Sales.” Bargains
abound for those who renew their resolve for
self-improvement. There are specials on exercise equipment,
gym memberships and even furniture. As I recall, I saw the
exercise equipment on sale this same time last year. These
advertisements remind me that people do the same things year
after year. It is a cycle.

In general, even people with the best intentions form habits
that are very difficult to change. I have heard people say,
“If nothing changes, nothing changes.” It’s true! It is
difficult to achieve change if we approach it in the same
unsuccessful way we have tried before. However, we do have
control and the ability to permanently change things we want
changed.

We all have reasons for wanting change, and when the reason
is important enough we try harder. But even with greater
effort, sometimes we need help and guidance in learning a
new way to change things. After all, if we knew exactly how
to make change happen, it would already have happened for
us. It is hard to step out of our patterns of behavior and
know what to do next. It is uncharted territory.

Several years ago I was “stuck” in a life in which I felt I
had no control. I was very unhappy in an abusive marriage.
If it weren’t for my love for my son, and my concern for his
safety and well being, I might still accept my unhappiness.
On my bookshelf I had a copy of the first edition of 'Take
Charge of your Life: A Millennium Primer.' It was an
autographed copy given as a gift from my aunt, an
inspirational person whom I greatly admired. I picked it up
and really started reading/using it. It was perfect. It is
so well done that it can easily guide a person to achieve
change in the financial or business world, but it helped me
in my personal life to look at what was really important to
me. It helped guide me, step by step, to the goals it had
helped me to formulate. Instead of fearing the unknown, I
felt like I was ready to face it head on. In the book one of
the steps is to find supportive people. I began to seek
help. I started with my physician who referred me to a
counselor. I no longer felt isolated and continued toward my
goal. I became confident enough to commit to and carry out
my plans. I was able to confidently place my priorities
above my fears. This book helped me place things in
perspective and see that I was capable of creating the life
I wanted for my son and myself.

Don’t get me wrong, change is very difficult, but 'Take
Charge of Your Life' was the missing ingredient I had needed
to step away from a 13-year cycle of abuse. Using the
guidance of this book and Jo Condrill’s message I realized,
again, that I cannot change other people. The difference
this book made was that I was guided, step by step, to make
the choices to change myself instead.

Wanting change and making change are not the same. No matter
what your goal in life is, be it in your career or personal
life, 'Take Charge of Your Life' can help you attain it.

-
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'When a core desire is driving you, things may stand in your
way, but nothing will stop you.'

~Jack Zufelt, Author, The DNA of Success

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2. An Important Lesson from Eli

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Have you ever found yourself tongue tied when what you had
to say was really second nature to you? Have you ever frozen
up at a critical moment? It has happened to me, and today it
happened to Eli.

Today was the District 8 Spelling Bee. Eli had been intently
studying the words in the pamphlet since November, when he
defeated all the competitors in his fourth grade class. Eli
had attended all of the before and after school practices.
He even quizzed me yesterday on words like “blithesome,”
“mortarboard,” and “woebegone.” He was ready!

This morning, sitting in the audience, I picked him out of
the 29 other competitors. He was hunched over, and droopy.
He seemed to lack any sort of confidence. He was so nervous!
Before the competition began, each of the children had a
turn speaking their names, and spelling the name of their
school into the microphone. It was almost a foreshadowing of
who would take first place. “Number 24,” Eli, was completely
inaudible. He couldn’t relax. He was petrified. The speaker
had to ask him to move the microphone closer to his mouth
and speak louder. That made him even more self-conscious.

Poor Eli, he was out in the 4th round and back in the
audience, yet I was glad to have his company. His comments
as he sat next to me for the remainder of the Bee were so
insightful. As he sat down he said, 'I couldn't even spell
'jug' today.' He could tell me who would be successful based
solely on their communication skills, although he didn't
realize that was why. He picked Sierra to win when there
were at least 15 children left. Sierra asked questions.
After each word she asked the same 3 questions: “May I have
a definition, please? Would you please use it in a sentence?
Would you please repeat the word?” She did this for every
word including “yellow.” This bought her some time, and
helped her to focus. She also spelled the words with her
finger into the palm of her hand. It looked as if she was
referring to a note card with the word printed clearly on
it, or spelling it for herself before she finalized her
answer. She then spoke clearly and confidently as she
articulated each letter.

Success exuded from Sierra. She was spunky and confident.
She almost skipped back to her seat after each round. All of
the children had studied. All of them were as prepared as
Eli was. The difference between 30th place and 1st place was
the fear factor.

It is important to be able to control our fear when we are
speaking.

Fear is a defense mechanism to protect ourselves. We fear
destruction of our self-esteem. Who we are is precious to
us. Others’ words about us can seem like building blocks
either supporting us or crashing in on us. Fear focuses on
the worst thing that can happen. “I’ll fail. I’ll forget
what I’m going to say. I’ll be humiliated. I’ll panic. I’ll
stop breathing.” Instead, shift your focus with the
following tips:

Focus on the Listener (not yourself), the Message (not the
words), Success (not the alternatives.)

Visualize a positive outcome.

Take a deep breath, relax, and be yourself.

Do your homework, know what you want to say.

Control your negative self-talk.

Speak from the heart rather than the ego.

Three of the 101 ways to improve your communication skills
instantly were unwittingly used by a fourth grade girl as
she conquered all the other spellers in the 2006 District 8
Spelling Bee – Control Fear, Ask Questions, and Enunciate
Clearly. It worked for Sierra, and it could work for you.

- -----------

My son, Eli, is a relatively ordinary 10 year old boy, and a
hero. On January 7, after a family bike-ride, he and his 18
month old little brother, Brian, were feeding Cheetos to the
geese near a mostly frozen pond, while I was loading the
gear into the car. Brian, having no fear of geese or water,
followed the geese out onto the pond. He had gone under the
water which was four or five feet deep and was struggling
face down about 5 feet from the shore. As soon as Eli
realized this, he went into the freezing water and pulled
Brian out. He called for me but I could not hear him. He
carried Brian in a “Heimlich” position back toward the car.
Brian was coughing up water. Both of them were drenched,
dripping, and crying. Eli was very brave that day. Brian is
very blessed to have guardian angels and his big brother,
Eli. I am very proud of him. This incident has recently been
submitted to the Boy Scouts of America, for consideration
for an award for Heroism for Eli.

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The Fourth Edition of 101 Ways to Improve Your Communication
Skills Instantly is now available in bookstores and
libraries in book and audio CD format. Spanish language Cds
are also available. You may also order from GoalMinds
http://www.goalminds.com

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Live so that when children think of fairness, caring, action
and integrity, they think of you.

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3. 'I Made a Mistake'

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With only four words, one of the wealthiest and most widely
respected women in the world provided a sterling example for
us. Presented with the fact that the author of a book she
had promoted had lied, she at first defended the author and
the book as providing helpful information and an inspiring
story. Bombarded by her supporters, Oprah admitted that the
ends do not justify the means. 'I made a mistake,' she said.
It is not okay to present fiction as fact, even in a memoir.
We must let our readers and listeners know what is fact,
what is unsupported beliefs, and what is simply fiction.

Every day introduces us to disinformation, untrue
information presented as fact. It is often offered by
devious persons inviting us to 'jump on the bandwagon' and
rail against one thing or another. When erroneous
information is repeated often enough, people accept that
information as fact and act accordingly regardless of its
truth. The uninitiated or naive individual often does just
what is intended (by the article's originator) without
checking the author's credentials and biases. Easy to go
along with what we are told, some of us even believe
everything we read in the newspaper. We forget that
reporters also have biases. Some are able to rise above
them, as we expect Supreme Court Justices to do. Some are
not and, as we've seen in the past, they blatantly present
lies as truth until caught by the publisher.

What is a clear-thinking, open-minded citizen to do? Find
and read all sides of an issue before going along with the
crowd. Listen to opposing viewpoints; look for hidden
agendas. Make your own decisions. Whenever someone always
takes a strong negative position, especially against elected
officials in the US, I do not give them credence. Few things
are all right or all wrong. We have a system for electing
governing officials, and whether or not we like the outcome,
if we are responsible citizens who care for our country, we
should accept the outcome. Repeating unsupported negatives
like a mantra shows the world what happens when democracies
lose sight of a true democratic system.

Look at it this way, no matter who's elected, about half the
country supported the opposing side, no matter who wins.
What are we to do? As we learn to accept that we will not
always be on the 'winning side,' and will most likely not
agree with all policies adopted, we still live in the land
of the free and the home of the brave. Let's put our hurt
feelings about 'losing' aside and find within ourselves the
ability to look for the good in the other side. 'United we
stand' is not just an idle phrase. Deep, hate-filled
divisions invite outsiders to lose respect for us and even
to attack us. Be brave enough to stand up for sound
thinking. When appropriate, be brave enough to say 'I made a
mistake.'

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Take a confidential Communications self-assessment, at no
cost at http://www.goalminds.com/quiz/RateYou.htm

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Phone: 310 993-7553 Email:condrill@goalminds.com