Dear Friends:

I’m so excited to announce my newest book: How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together co-authored with Riley K. Smith Check it out here: www.amazon.com/How-Be-Happy-Partners-Together/dp/1530583594 Please take a look and tell me what you think.

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I’d love your opinion on my other new Kindle book: The Real 13th Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the 12-Step Programs. www.amazon.com/REAL-13TH-STEP-Self-Reliance-Independence-ebook/dp/B00VD94JO0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1467786802
One reviewer wrote “This is the paddle you don’t want to be up the creek without.”

Happiness Tip: How to Stay Young
There is a relentless pursuit of youth in our society today. Next door to my favorite restaurant is a “Botox Spa” with a blackboard out front detailing the day’s specials on medical cosmetic procedures. Commercials are all over TV, social media and the Internet urging us to use this drug, that cosmetic, or the other exercise equipment or technique to lose weight, stop wrinkles and maintain a youthful body.

The surprising thing is that research shows consistently that what really works to keep people youthful by scientific definitions is internal, not external. A positive attitude, good connections with friends and family, and a sense of purpose are the top-rated scientifically proven components of a long, happy and youthful life.

I love the way George Carlin put it:

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
(George Carlin)
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Having a positive outlook is a big part of staying young. From what I’ve seen and experienced in my 72 years, there are three sure-fire ways of maintaining a positive outlook and being happy.

1. Gratitude: When you consciously acknowledge all that you have and are you will change your outlook immediately. Instead of complaining about wrinkles or aches, give thanks that you’re healthier than so many others, and appreciate what you have. Any time you feel down, count your blessings or write a gratitude list.
2. Learning: Learn something new to keep your brain and mind fresh and growing. You can still be or do whatever you’ve always wanted. You can learn what you always wanted to know. Learn a language, or how to play music, or to dance, or to sail a boat. It will literally keep your mind younger. Growing new neurons (which is what happens when we learn something) renews your brain. There are senior versions of any gymnastics, dance, theater or sport you always wanted to be able to do. Senior universities give you low-cost or free access to all kinds of classes and activities.
3. New experiences: Meet some new people, go to a new place, try something different. It will refresh your outlook, and remind you of what you have to offer others. Doing step 2 qualifies as having a new experience, but so does travel, and doing anything you haven’t done before.
4. Do something for someone else. Volunteer, babysit, help a neighbor, give away something you don’t need any more. Pass on what you know. Mentoring someone younger is amazingly uplifting and energizing. The ability to give reminds us that we have so much.
5. Pamper yourself: This only works when you haven’t been doing it. Take a day for yourself, have a massage, sit in a park and breathe in nature, have your favorite lunch. It’s like rebooting your computer; it’s rejuvenating. Regular self-pampering will keep your mental machinery humming.

6. Stay connected; or make new connections: People don't often realize the importance of companionship until later in life. Staying fit and physically and socially active increases your odds of finding someone to date, and also increases your libido and your chances of successful sex. When you feel good about yourself, you are at your most attractive. But, beware of too much focus on the surface, and not enough content. Such relationships quickly become empty and stressful. If you want to make more connections, or even find a romance, I recommend pursuing your interests in a group fashion. Taking classes, supporting causes, or getting involved in civic, church or social groups will not only help you stay young, it will also keep you interested, socially connected, and give you a chance to find someone with whom you have something in common. It's never too late for to fulfill your dreams.

© 2016 Tina B. Tessina adapted from: It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (Kindle and Paperback)

If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

Anticipating Change
Aspects of Love
Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude
Attitude Adjustment
The Colors of You
Creating Connections: Draw Them In
Decisions After Forty: Reinventing the Rest of Your Life
Detox Your Life
Emotional Hygiene
The Family of the Heart
The Freedom of Maturity
Give Yourself a Gift
Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness
Growing Up As An Adult
The Importance of Humor
Kindness and Happiness
Living Outside The Box
Looking Backward, Looking Forward
Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends
Patterns of Change
These Decisions Can Increase Your Happiness
You Are a Gift
Your Bestest Friend - You
Your Primary Relationship

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Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com