Dear Friends:

The original version of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free is now available in a new 4th edition. The one that got it all started. Take a look! And please review it on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/hbuhban

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How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together co-authored with Riley K. Smith Check it out here: http://tinyurl.com/zbe63u9 Please take a look and tell me what you think.


Happiness Tip: Factors in Cheating

Cheaters cheat. That's why it's inadvisable to marry someone who was cheating in an affair with you when you're the spouse, you'll get cheated on. People who feel entitled to sex any way they can get it, will always rationalize cheating, and just keep doing it. They don't want to work on marital issues, or learn to keep intimacy alive with the same person. They get their jollies from illicit sex (cheating.) If sex and intimacy go out of a marriage, the likelihood that cheating will happen increases. Men tend to cheat because they are not sexually satisfied, and feel entitled. Women tend to cheat because they don’t feel emotionally connected with their husbands or partners, and find someone else (a training coach, mentor at work) who is supportive and comforting.

Here are some factors that make someone more likely to cheat:
1. Dissatisfaction with relationship: When men feel entitled to sexual satisfaction, and they are not getting it, they tend to cheat. Women will tend to cheat when they feel emotionally disconnected or rejected. There are people who choose to remain in an unsatisfactory relationship for a number of reasons, like children, finances, or family, and make up for what’s missing with an affair.

2. Past habits of cheating: If your partner has cheated before, on you or another partner, he or she is much more likely to cheat again.

3. Availability: Partners will cheat more easily if the person they have a connection with is readily available, such as someone at work, or a close neighbor or friend. Cheating can arise from a growing emotional connection or infatuation if both parties are willing to cheat.
4. Family history: People who grew up in an atmosphere of betrayal and cheating are more likely both to cheat and to select partners who are unfaithful. Sometimes, anxiety about being cheated on can motivate a partner to cheat.
5. Distance: Physical distance, such as long distance relationships or jobs that require a lot of travel, can promote cheating. Both the loneliness factor and the opportunity of being away from a partner can be motives.

It’s very often possible to fix what’s not working in a relationship, if both parties are willing to work at making things better. Marriage counseling can be surprisingly effective, even once cheating has occurred. © 2018 Tina B. Tessina
adapted from: Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today https://tinyurl.com/y8tdwwje

If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html
10 Reasons For Not Falling in Love
Apology and Forgiveness
Asking for What You Want
Avoiding the Drama Triangle
Better Intimacy, Better Sex

Couples Can Cooperate for Success
Creating Connections: Draw Them In
Creating Unconditional Love
Do You Understand Emotional Intelligence
Fair Fight Guidelines
Friends With Benefits
From Friends to Lovers and Back
From Struggling to Solving
Getting to Yes
Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness
Growing Up As An Adult
Guidelines for Being Understood by Your Partner
Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely
Guidelines for Successful Dating
Handling The Green Eyed Monster
How Not to Fight
How Sex Can Evolve in a Long Relationship
How to be Irresistible to Your Mate
It’s a Dirty Job
Jealousy, Faithfulness and Distance
Keys to a Happy Relationship
Lighten Up Cures for Marital Boredom
Love and Chemistry
Lovestyles
The Magic of Reassurance
The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds
Peace Begins at Home
Problem Solving For Couples
Relating With Love
Response Ability
Relationship Myths
Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract?
The Right Way to Love
Romance is Not Necessarily Love
Setting Boundaries and Saying No
State of the Union Meeting
Stop Reacting and Start Relating
Stupid Cupid
Technology and Love
Ten Things People Don’t Know About Therapy
The Tennis Match: How to Balance the Power in Your Relationship
Three Little Words
To Keep the Romance Alive
Watch Out for Bad Relationship Habits
What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship?

When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships
Why Couples Fall Out Of Love
Your Primary Relationship

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Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com