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Happy New Year! Wishing you and yours a happy and productive 1999

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How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together co-authored with Riley K. Smith. Check it out here: http://tinyurl.com/zbe63u9 Please take a look and tell me what you think.


Happiness Tip: Is PERMA the Key to Well-being?

Martin Seligman, who is often called the “father of positive psychology” has developed a theory of five elements of well-being that he maintains define flourishing. It’s an interesting list, but some components aren’t always simple to understand. Here I give his definitions, and my added two cents.

Positive emotions.

Positive emotions, such as warmth, rhapsody, ecstasy, and pleasure are what Seligman calls the pleasant life. While these emotions may make us feel good, they will not give out lives meaning. Positive emotions can also be quickly achieved – buying a sundae, taking a bath, and getting a massage take minimal amounts of time – and therefore require little effort. In my life and practice, I have found that generating positive emotions is not always so easy, especially if you were raised to think happiness is somehow wrong. While a single act can make you feel good in the moment, developing a habit of counting your blessings and generating a constant flow of positive feeling toward yourself is life-changing. “Attitude: from Negative to Gratitude” http://www.tinatessina.com/attitude.html can help you learn to be more positive.

Engagement.
Engagement, which is also described as the state of flow occurs when the challenges we face perfectly match our strengths – such that we are neither over-faced nor bored. In a state of engagement, we become completely absorbed in the activity, and both conscious
thought and time appear to stop. There is an intense focus, a merging of action and awareness,
and the activity is autotelic – meaning it is intrinsically rewarding. I believe engagement or flow can be either positive or negative. Being engaged in online gaming or other pursuits to the point of addiction, means being in flow, but it’s not necessarily positive. However, productive engagement, meaning a state of flow which accomplishes something, as when I’m “in the groove” writing, and it’s flowing easily, can be very creative and life -affirming. “Four Steps to Success” http://www.tinatessina.com/foursteps.html Can help you find your flow.

Positive relationships.
Positive relationships captures the universal human desire for connection. Essentially, it is the presence of family, friends, and social connections, with whom we can feel understand, validated, and valued. It is these relationships that not only give us a sense of belonging, but a resource for which to process difficult life events. Yes. Relationships which enhance our lives are a key ingredient for happiness, beginning with a positive relationship with oneself. “The Healing Power of Friendship” http://www.tinatessina.com/healing-power-of-friendship.html
can help you build better relationships.

Meaning.
Meaning is described as the act of belonging to, and acting in service of something greater than oneself. It is through acting in pursuit of something larger than ourselves that we find a deeper sense of purpose – transcending our own self-interests. It is also through meaning that we experience a deeper unity, and a deeper connection to the world around us. This can be difficult for many people to find. “Tapping Your “Inner Mentor” to Create New Meaning in Your Life” http://www.tinatessina.com/tapping-your-inner-mentor.html can help you figure it out.

Achievement.
Achieving something uniquely fulfills the universal human need for mastery. And important in the definition of flourishing is that mastery can be undertaken for its own sake. That
is to say that the pursuit of mastery may not lead to any positive emotions in the moment,
however, it may contribute to an individual’s sense of well-being. I think it depends on what you are achieving. Climbing up the corporate ladder can involve mastery, but if you don’t think your work is accomplishing something meaningful, it doesn’t feel like achievement. “Your Job on Earth” http://www.tinatessina.com/job_on_earth.html can help you figure out how to follow your bliss.

The PERMA acronym is helpful in remembering the five elements that define flourishing: Positive Emotions, Engagement, Positive Relationships, Meaning and Achievement. May your New Year be filled with happiness.

© 2019 Tina B. Tessina
adapted from:
It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (Kindle and Paperback)

If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

HAPPINESS TIPS FROM TINA
Anger Management
Anticipating Change
Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude
The Colors of You
Creating Connections: Draw Them In
Creating Family Acceptance
Creating Unconditional Love
Decisions After Forty: Reinventing the Rest of Your Life
Detox Your Life
Do You Understand Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Hygiene
Four Steps to Success
Getting Out of Your Way
Giving Thanks
Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness
Growing Up As An Adult
The Healing Power of Friendship
How to Be a Positive Person
How to Stay Young
Independence and Self-Reliance: Keys to Happiness
Intuition or Inner Knowing
Kindness and Happiness
Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends
The Meaning of Life
The Power of Purpose
Relating With Love
Resolving Inner Anarchy
To Help An Addicted Friend
True Beauty: Honor the God or Goddess in You
Weaving The Web
When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships
Year of Peace
Your Bestest Friend - You
Your Heart’s Desire
Your Primary Relationship

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Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com