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How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together co-authored with Riley K. Smith. Check it out here: http://tinyurl.com/zbe63u9 Please take a look and tell me what you think.

Happiness Tip: How to Grow Old Happily Together

All the focus seems to be on how to stay young these days; but we grow older anyway; and if we’re lucky, we will grow old together. There’s a lot of research to show that people who are in happy relationships live longer and healthier lives. If you want your relationship to be happy and healthy as you grow older, follow these guidelines:

1. Learn to talk with each other about everything. Things will change, your sex life, your appearance, your energy, your interests. If you can talk about the changes as they occur, and work together to accommodate them, you’ll be happy for a long time.

2. Save money. Growing old together takes money. Save for your old age. When you are no longer working, you’ll want to travel, to visit family, to enjoy what you have created for yourselves. Planning ahead financially will help you do that.

3. Develop and keep a shared sense of humor. Laughter will brighten your days, make you fall in love over and over with each other, and get you through hard times with your connection intact.

4. Learn to grieve effectively. The longer you live, the more loss you face. You will grieve lost friends and family, lost pets, lost jobs or opportunities, disappointments and other losses; some much greater than others. Learn to grieve together and to support each other in grief. Healthy grieving is an essential life skill.

5. Get in the habit of consulting each other. My husband and I are self-employed, with changing schedules, so we check in each day to share what’s happening in our calendars. Even if you’re retired or your schedules are predictable, don’t forget to check in with each other on a regular basis. Don’t spend any substantial money, or make big time consuming commitments without checking with each other.

6. Draw each other out emotionally. If your partner looks stressed, learn how to ask what’s the matter without being intrusive. When you can share your feelings; whether they’re sad, mad, glad, scared, or stressed, you’ll be better support for each other, and helping ease the stress makes you live longer. A simple question like “How are you doing?” shows your partner you care.

7. Have fun together. Knowing you two are excellent and fun company whether you’re doing dishes or traveling the globe means you’ll be each other’s favorite companions through life.

8. Take care of yourselves and each other. Live a reasonably healthy lifestyle without stressing about it. Keep stress as low as you can, support each other in staying active. If you’re going to be together for a long time, you want to be healthy.

9. Renew your vows. You don’t need to be formal about it, but remind each other you’d marry again if necessary. Renew your commitment frequently. My husband and I wrote our marriage vows in 1982, and we repeat them together frequently. It’s a good reminder of why you’re together, where you came from, and how much you’ve shared.

10. Care about yourselves and each other. Loving your partner successfully requires caring about yourself, too. Don’t let your love get too one-sided. There’s plenty of love to go around, and it grows the more you use it.

© 2019 Tina B. Tessina adapted from: How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free 4th Edition http://tinyurl.com/hbuhban

If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

7 Signs You May Be Too Negative in Your Relationship
After Infidelity—Stay or Go?
Apology and Forgiveness
Asking for What you Want
Avoiding The Drama Triangle
Begin Again with an Apology
Better Intimacy, Better Sex
The Challenges of Blended Families
Couples Can Cooperate for Success
Creating Unconditional Love
Don’t Keep Your Distance
Factors in Cheating
Fair Fight Guidelines
Family Meetings
Family Violence Q&A
From Struggling to Solving
Gentle Persistence
Getting to Yes
Guidelines for Being Understood by Your Partner
Honesty, Intimacy and Personal Space
How Communicating Your Love Can Go Wrong
How Not to Fight
How Not to Repeat Past Relationship Mistakes
How Sex Can Evolve in a Long Relationship
How to Avoid Financial Infidelity
How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner
How to be Irresistible to Your Mate
It’s a Dirty Job
Jealousy, Faithfulness and Distance
Keys to a Happy Relationship
Less Talk, More Action
Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom
Living Together: Transitions, Personal Space and Intimacy
Love and Chemistry
Love, Commitment and Surrender
Lovestyles
The Magic of Reassurance
The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds
No Cooperation? Solve it Yourself!
Problem Solving For Couples
Relating With Love
Relationship Myths
Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract?
The Right Way to Love
Setting Boundaries and Saying No
State of the Union Meeting
Stop Reacting and Start Relating
Technology and Love
The Tennis Match: How to Balance the Power in Your Relationship
Three Little Words
To Keep the Romance Alive
Top Five Hurdles in a Relationship
Understand and Communicate Your Feelings
Watch Out for Bad Relationship Habits
What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship?
When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships
Why Couples Fall Out Of Love
Why Get Marriage Counseling
Your Partner’s Annoying Quirks

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Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com