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How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together co-authored with Riley K. Smith. Check it out here: http://tinyurl.com/zbe63u9 Please take a look and tell me what you think.

Happiness Tip: Seven Steps for Turning Talk into Communicating
Good communication is the foundation for all healthy relationships, whether with your partner, family, work mates or friends. Understanding how to be heard when talking isn’t working can make all the difference.

Here are Seven Steps for Turning Talk into Communication:

1. Communicate with yourself first. If you know a chance to talk is coming up, take a little time to think about it beforehand. Know what you want to say, what you want your partner to understand, and what you want to accomplish. If you’re upset or anxious about the topic; try writing your thoughts down to organize them.

2. Do you understand your partner? Even though you are prepared to communicate what you want your partner to know, begin by being willing to listen. If you are receptive and interested, the conversation will go better, and your mate will be more likely to reciprocate and listen to you.

3. If the conversation goes off track, bring it back. Don’t let the conversation wander to other topics until you’re sure you’ve finished the first topic. If other topics come up, like past events or other problems, say “I’d like to talk about that, too, but let’s finish the first problem before we go there."

4. Don’t argue about who’s right. It leads to endless arguing and getting nowhere. Switch your focus from right and wrong to what will work – it’s not about who’s right, but what solves the problem.

5. Stay calm. If either one of you is getting upset, take a break, agree to let the topic rest until next time, and switch to talking about something pleasant, like how much you care.

6. Make constructive suggestions. For each problem you discuss, offer some possible solutions. If you can’t agree on a solution, agree to try one temporarily to see how it works.

7. Confirm your solution. Whatever you’ve decided you want to do based on your discussion, this is the time to confirm your decision and make sure you both understand your agreement.

Following these steps can make a big difference in the success of your communication. For more about this, read: How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together. http://tinyurl.com/zbe63u9

© 2019 Tina B. Tessina adapted from: How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together http://tinyurl.com/zbe63u9

If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html in the Resilient Relationships section.
7 Signs You May Be Too Negative in Your Relationship
After Infidelity—Stay or Go?
Apology and Forgiveness
Asking for What you Want
Avoiding The Drama Triangle
Begin Again with an Apology
Better Intimacy, Better Sex
The Challenges of Blended Families
Couples Can Cooperate for Success
Creating Unconditional Love
Don’t Keep Your Distance
Fair Fight Guidelines
Family Meetings
Family Violence Q&A
From Struggling to Solving
Gentle Persistence
Getting to Yes
Guidelines for Being Understood by Your Partner
Honesty, Intimacy and Personal Space
How Not to Fight
How Not to Repeat Past Relationship Mistakes
How Sex Can Evolve in a Long Relationship
How to Avoid Financial Infidelity
How to be Irresistible to Your Mate
It’s a Dirty Job
Jealousy, Faithfulness and Distance
Keys to a Happy Relationship
Less Talk, More Action
Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom
Living Together: Transitions, Personal Space and Intimacy
Love and Chemistry
Love, Commitment and Surrender
Lovestyles
The Magic of Reassurance
The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds
No Cooperation? Solve it Yourself!
Problem Solving For Couples
Relating With Love
Relationship Myths
Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract?
The Right Way to Love
Setting Boundaries and Saying No
State of the Union Meeting
Stop Reacting and Start Relating
Technology and Love
The Tennis Match: How to Balance the Power in Your Relationship
Three Little Words
To Keep the Romance Alive
Watch Out for Bad Relationship Habits
What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship?
When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships
Why Couples Fall Out Of Love
Your Partner’s Annoying Quirks

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Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com

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