Hi, All!

First of all, I want to welcome all the new subscribers. I met many of you at the Tweens and Teens Conference last weekend.

Now to get down to business. To read the lastest postings (with all the bling), visit:

www.thealertparent.blogspot.com

and...

www.allynevans.blogspot.com

To read them here in a text version, scroll down. The Alert Parent article will be listed first.

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To be featured on "Living Happily Ever Today" blog, please email me. I am looking for inspiring stories about your life. It's fine if they are reprints. And even better if they are short!

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Have a friend who might benefit from this weekly ezine, please forward this to them.
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FEATURE ARTICLES

"The Alert Parent" Are We Scaring Our Children?

Did you hear about Lenore Sknazy, the New York columnist who gave her nine - year - old son a subway map, a transit card, $20 for emergencies and a couple of quarters for a phone call, then left him in Manhattan’s Bloomingdale’s?

Her son rode the subway home alone—because he wanted to.

In Reader’s Digest Sknazy admonishes all us other parents to “stop scaring our kids.” She talked about her overly - concerned friend. “My friend was a Harvard math major, so she is perfectly aware of probability and statistics and that the odds of anything bad happening to her daughter are tiny.”

My response mirrors her friend’s. “Doesn’t matter.”

At 11, I rode my bicycle in my neighborhood and with permission ventured into others. By age 12, I crossed major streets to reach the other side of town. At 11 Addy can’t ride her bike around our neighborhood unsupervised. Forget riding alone for hours.

Maybe I’m a little overprotective. Lenore Skenazy may be right. But still.

One evening Addy announced, “Jane’s neighborhood was busy yesterday.”

“What does that mean?” my husband asked.

“We walked around her neighborhood and lots of cars drove by.”

“Oh dear,” I thought. “You did this alone?”

“Yes,” Addy said proudly.

I looked at my husband. He raised an eyebrow. And so I have started to think about this. When will I consider her old enough to walk around the block or from school alone?

I recently read an article written by parenting author and cyberfriend, Christine Hohlbaum.
Christine’s elementary aged child had gotten lost somewhere between school and after - care. It took her an hour to find him.

Turns out her son had walked home with a friend. She explained why her son’s disappearance had so unnerved her. “My anxiety stems from something that happened in our town almost two years ago. It was then a pillar of the community was caught molesting some neighborhood children.” She confessed the computer repair man “was even in my house a couple of times to look at my PC.” Ultimately, the man was prosecuted.

“But,” Christine shared, “he still lives in our town.” Like Christine, I know we have sexual offenders nearby. Although I believe most people are good, bad people do walk the same streets. I don’t believe I am “scaring my child.” I am preparing Addy to be aware of her surroundings and leery of suspect folks.


A couple of websites can tell you if the bad guys live near you: the FBI provides (http://www.nsopr.gov/) and America’s Most Wanted TV host John Walsh’s brings us (www.familywatchdog.us). These sites are to inform you, not scare you.
Spend time talking to your child about what to do if she is separated from you or is confronted by a stranger.

I tell Addy, “Seek out a woman with children. Next best bet: a woman by herself.” I’m not picking on men here. I’m just playing it safe. Why? The best way for me to say this is that whenever Dateline airs “To Catch a Predator,” a reality TV show catching would - be predators on film, men show up. They’ve filmed 12 shows in all and caught over 300 predators. Never has a female been involved.

I’m preparing Addy to travel solo in this world, but at 11 the world she lives in is too big and she is too little to take on the bad guys by herself. Sorry, Lenore Skenazy, for now I’m going to be one of those “over - concerned” parents you wrote about.

Have an issue you’d like me to discuss. Send me an email.

www.allynevans.com
www.allynevans.blogspot.com

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"Living Happily Ever After Today"

The Grandparent Connection

Occasionally, I will be inviting featured guests to blog. If you'd like to be featured, please email me. To be included, your stories need to be inspiring and positive. I'm mainly seeking stories about how you started or how you managed to create a life you enjoy and are passionate about.

Please enjoy Guest Blogger and Author Gayle Trent...

Gayle lives in Bristol, Virginia with her husband, daughter and son. Gayle previously worked in the accounting and legal fields, and her last such job was as secretary to a Deputy Commissioner in the Virginia Workers' Compensation Commission. Though she enjoyed the work, it was a long daily commute and she felt she wasn't spending enough time with her family. Now she writes while her children are at school; and thanks to a crock pot and a bread machine, can often have dinner ready when everyone gets home.

Feature Article

After having children of my own and seeing my parents with my children, I'm inclined to agree with Bill Cosby who said, "These are not the people I grew up with! These are old people who are trying to get into Heaven!"

But does the "grandparent connection," i.e., the love, the spoiling, the attitudes, work the other way as well? Would a child treat a grandparent differently than he/she would treat a parent?

I asked myself this question one weekend as I was giving my eighty - six - year - old grandmother a makeover. Yes, a makeover. If you knew my grandmother, you'd understand. You see, Grandmother has not had a pie life. In fact, she's had more than her fair share of rough spots. Yet, through it all, she held her head up proudly knowing, as she'd so often been told, that she was one of the prettiest women in town.

"I used to be…." Most often a sentence that begins with those four words is tinged with sadness…a sense of something once treasured and now forever lost. "I used to be one heck of a ballplayer when I was in school," says the man in a wheelchair. "I used to be a seamstress and sew all my own clothes," says the woman whose hands are so arthritic she can barely move them. "I used to be the prettiest woman in Saltville," says my Grandmother.

She doesn't go many places anymore; but when she does, she wants to look nice. A couple of weeks ago, she was going to a church function so she put on some makeup. According to my mother, Grandmother's cheeks looked like they were flaming. At my mother's appalled expression, Grandmother asked, "I have on too much rouge, don't I?" She then went and washed her face.

I knew she wanted to look as good as she could. I also knew she'd forgotten everything she'd ever known about makeup. So I went out and got all the little goodies women love to play with—from moisturizer to lipstick—and I called and asked Grandmother if she'd like a makeover. Sounding as excited as a child on her birthday, she said she'd love it.

My mother was having a party on Saturday, so I went up an hour early to help Grandmother get fixed up. Again, I was struck by her childlike behavior—wide - eyed, obedient, trusting—as I treated her to a makeover. When I finished, she asked for a mirror. "This is not me," she said, at first glance. I thought she was disappointed until she elaborated. "I look beautiful." And she did. [The downside is that now she wants me to do her makeup when she's dead, but I digress.]

The entire incident made me wonder: Grandparents will go above and beyond for their grandchildren, but will the grandchildren return the favor when they're grown? It has long been established that as we and our parents age, our roles reverse. What of the roles of grandparents and grandchildren? Do the grandchildren go back and coddle their grandparents, or do they leave them by the wayside?

If, like me, you were given loads of love, called "angel" and taught the value of a Peppermint Pattie®, you should repay that love with love. If you were driven around on country roads in a Dodge Swinger® with the windows down while singing Broadway show tunes at the top of your lungs, you can at least brighten a day or two with a phone call or a card. And what harm would it do you to bring a smile to the face of someone who searched far and wide for the riding toy you rode the wheels off of?

If you only take, soon there will be nothing to be taken. But if you give, there will always be something coming back to you.
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About Gayle Trent:
Gayle Trent is a full - time author. She is currently at work on a new cozy mystery series involving her hobby, cake decorating. The series features Daphne Martin, a 40 - year - old divorcee who has begun the second phase of her life with a new home and a new business venture - - Daphne's Delectable Cakes.

To find out more about Gayle, visit her websites: http://www.gayletrent.com.

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Thanks to the gang at WOW! Women On Writing for introducing me to Gayle!

http://www.allynevans.com/
http://www.thealertparent.blogspot.com/