Why hello there! Thanks for choosing to sign up for my newsletter. The letters aren't always brief but they are always informative and funny. Or barring that, they are something to divert your attention from whatever it is you do with your time. Clearly, you don't want to be doing what you're doing right now. Who does? So sit back, relax, and enjoy fresh, hot ME.
Truly,
Jeremy Vaeni
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www.valiens.com
UFO Magazine
Newsletter Dated: 11/4/2003 9:42:39 PMSubject: My Book Is Here In Time For The Holidays!
You've heard about it...maybe from me...maybe from...well...okay, me. That's right, my book, I KNOW WHY THE ALIENS DON'T LAND! is finally landing December 16th, 2003.
The book draws upon a number of writing techniques to illustrate Humanity's fundamental dilemma: we use our brains wrongly. Nope, our vast intellect will never solve our most basic problems. What will? And what does this have to do with aliens, anyway?--It's all in the book, I swear.
Sure, you could order it from your local bookstore or online. But what would be great...no, fabulous...no-no...What would be SCRUMPTACULAR is if you pre-ordered a copy (or 2 or 3) directly from me. As incentive, every book ordered by NOVEMBER 21st, 2003 will be autographed and you will be charged zero for shipping & handling. (If you live near me and feel cheated by the savings you will not be receiving, think of this purchase as a Christmas gift to me. See that?--you've just saved a boatload of cash!)
Please make all checks and money orders payable to Jeremy Vaeni.
Cash is acceptable but not credit cards. I'm not smart enough to figure out how that works. (I don't have to be smart, I'm a writer...Can I get that on a bumper sticker?)
Please send payment of $19.95 to the following address:
Jeremy Vaeni
36-52 32nd Street
Long Island City, NY 11106
And thank you again for your support!
Sincerely,
Jeremy Vaeni
I Know Why The Aliens Don't Land!
ISBN 0-9746854-0-2
high-quality softcover
384 pages
Tell a friend!
