Why hello there! Thanks for choosing to sign up for my newsletter. The letters aren't always brief but they are always informative and funny. Or barring that, they are something to divert your attention from whatever it is you do with your time. Clearly, you don't want to be doing what you're doing right now. Who does? So sit back, relax, and enjoy fresh, hot ME.
Truly,
Jeremy Vaeni
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www.valiens.com
UFO Magazine
Newsletter Dated: 2/9/2004 1:32:28 PMSubject: My Book... Finally Available Online
Yes, it's true. I KNOW WHY THE ALIENS DON'T LAND! is finally available for purchase through the Authors Den bookstore. It is coming soon to Barnes& Noble, B. Dalton, and DoubleDay Book Shops--but why wait?
To sweeten the pot, every order made through Authors Den will be autographed and personalized by yours truly.
So call up your friends and relatives and their friends and relatives! Hurry! There's not a moment to spare! If I am going to realize my lifelong dream of never working again a day in my life, the buck MUST stop with you! (Wait...did I just commit that to a mass email?)
For those of you who frequent my website, there's some new and exciting stuff posted. For those who have never seen my website, all of it is new and maybe like 35% of it is exciting.
So come check it out! I'll be adding new items frequently this week that will enrich your reading of the book.
What's that book, again?--Oh, pimpin' ain't easy, baby... I KNOW WHY THE ALIENS DON'T LAND!
No...for real.
