Why hello there! Thanks for choosing to sign up for my newsletter. The letters aren't always brief but they are always informative and funny. Or barring that, they are something to divert your attention from whatever it is you do with your time. Clearly, you don't want to be doing what you're doing right now. Who does? So sit back, relax, and enjoy fresh, hot ME.
Truly,
Jeremy Vaeni
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www.valiens.com
UFO Magazine
Newsletter Dated: 6/22/2004 11:43:51 AMSubject: I Am Now...A Teacher?!
Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. Okay, you ready for a jaw-dropper? Wednesday, Sept. 8th and if all goes well, Wednesday, Oct. 20th I will be a guest speaker and TEACHER at the mother-fucking Learning Annex! LOL!!!
Wondering what I'm going to speak about? Can't understand what I have to teach? JOIN THE CLUB! No, better yet, join the Learning Annex where I will, yes, that's right, where I will be teaching what it means to make contact with aliens and HOW TO DO IT.
Now before you bite your knuckle praying to some god that I'm not going absolutely insane--relax. It's too late for that. Bring on the cult chicks!
Wait, no...I can do this. I can do the impossible. And if I've learned anything watching Dick Cheney, I can do it without breaking a sweat.
Okay, I've gotta go. I've got a curriculum to make. Wish me luck.
