Why hello there! Thanks for choosing to sign up for my newsletter. The letters aren't always brief but they are always informative and funny. Or barring that, they are something to divert your attention from whatever it is you do with your time. Clearly, you don't want to be doing what you're doing right now. Who does? So sit back, relax, and enjoy fresh, hot ME.
Truly,
Jeremy Vaeni
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www.valiens.com
UFO Magazine
Newsletter Dated: 10/31/2005 11:13:18 AMSubject: Happy Halloween
It's been a while so I thought I'd update you on the inner workings of Jeremy Vaeni, who, according to all applicable birth records, happens to be me. Being that it's Halloween and all, lets do it up Trick or Treat style:
TRICK
I'm waiting to hear back whether or not I can interview author/abductee Whitley Strieber for the December issue of UFO Magazine.
TREAT
My column for the latest issue is Halloween-themed. No way, huh?
TRICK
Although my feature-length documentary on...yep, that's right, MYSELF is finished, I cannot screen it publicly until I hear back from the Sundance Film Festival in early December. They only accept world premiere documentaries.
TREAT
My 1999 short film "STUCK" is now playing online at www.moviesaskew.com.
Funny story: I bashed writer/director Kevin Smith on aintitcoolnews.com for being a hack who has yet to live up to his potential. Smith, who is in no way affiliated with that site, actually answered my post charge-by-charge. He's helming an online short film festival/contest where members of his website (www.moviesaskew.com) vote on the best flicks for each month. After 12 months, one winner from each month will be put on a compilation DVD. So I entered it and am, as of last night, in the running.
Shhhh! Don't tell him it's me!
If you want to vote for STUCK, by all means do so. Just know that you have to join Smith's site, which costs 2 bucks. I don't think you have to join to watch the films just to vote on them.
Also know that I don't expect to win at all. I'm guessing that, since I had to join to enter, the vast majority of filmmakers there were already members and so are friends with the people on the message boards. Thus it becomes a matter of "who has the most friends here" as opposed to who has the best film. That's just a guess though. I'm just happy that STUCK is being seen at all.
TRICK
Eh. I got nothin'.
TREAT
You can stop reading now.
'Til Next Time!
--jeremy
PS: Oh wait I do have other news. Not sure if this is a trick or a treat but I've begun slapping together my second book. It will not be a sequel to I KNOW WHY THE ALIENS DON'T LAND! It may not even have my name attached to it. But it's me! Shhh! Don't tell!
