Why hello there! Thanks for choosing to sign up for my newsletter. The letters aren't always brief but they are always informative and funny. Or barring that, they are something to divert your attention from whatever it is you do with your time. Clearly, you don't want to be doing what you're doing right now. Who does? So sit back, relax, and enjoy fresh, hot ME.
Truly,
Jeremy Vaeni
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www.valiens.com
UFO Magazine
Newsletter Dated: 4/11/2007 11:44:26 AMSubject: Reminder. Thank You. Aaaand A Reminder.
REMINDER
Please come out TONIGHT to the DVD launch screening of my flick, "No One's Watching," at Meta Center where I'll be fielding questions from the audience. And by "audience" I mean all three of you. Seriously, who does anything on a Wednesday? LOST is on!
I'll tape it for you, promise....
META CENTER
214 WEST 29TH STREET — 16TH FLOOR
Between 7th and 8th Avenues in Manhattan
7PM - Wed night
$10 admission
call 212-736-0999 or go to: www.metacenterny.com for more details.
THANK YOU
So many of you have already pre-ordered "No One's Watching" at Amazon that it's staggering. Actually, it defies explanation since I have just now begun to promote it. So thank you, thank you, thank you for proving that Americans don't read anymore. I mean what the fuck was my book, chopped liver?
Wait. Rrrrrt! Sorry. Let me back over that. What I meant was, AWESOME! Thank you so much for buying the DVD! Yeah! Go me!
REMINDER AGAIN
For those who haven't bought the film and plan to, here's the direct link:
http://www.amazon.com/No-Ones-Watching-Alien-Abductees/dp/B000OIOS4W/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-4083728-9574413?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1176317166&sr=8-1
I understand that buying a movie you know little about is chancy because you can't return it if it sucks. That's why I made my DVD suck-proof. First of all there's the movie itself, which you'll either like or not. But more importantly, within the movie, I demonstrate the workings of an energy in me that was not here prior to the year 2001. The coordinated movements the body does are not done by me and that's a fact. So I'm demonstrating this other (or new?) dimension to human beings, so believe it or not, what you are watching is, in part, an historical benchmark for the species.
But odds are most you won't believe it. So now the movie sucks, right? Wrong! Now you watch it again with the roommate commentary track and laugh yourself to tears as my very own friends deconstruct everything on the screen and basically turn my very important film into an episode of "Mystery Science Theater." Fuckers. But still, lucky you! You now don't own a historical document, you own a comedy classic!
Yeah!
See how you can't go wrong? Where'd I lose you, at "Rrrrrt?"
Whelp, if you're still with me here, thanks for reading. Now go put capitalism to work for daddy.
Yours In Zeus
Jeremy Vaeni
