Sometimes I hate
the way I seem to stand
in your shadow.
Although I'm supposed to
know better, and be
older and wiser.
The way you laugh at me
and make me feel
like I'm not worth a thing.

I hate the way
you call me names
and the way that you
make me want to
give up, if only
for the sake of my pride.
I hate the way,
that I feel weaker,
purely because I have a conscience,
whereas you don't care
when you hurt me.
I hate the way
that you make me
want to die,
hold my head in my hands,
and sit and cry.
I hate the sadistic
smile that you flash at me,
when I finally break down.

I hate the way
that you say you hate me,
just because things
don't go your way.
I hate the way you don't care
when I want to
throw everything away.

I hate the way you call me names,
the way you just assume,
that I'm not quite good enough,
because I'm not the same as you.
I hate the way you love yourself,
and the way that you keep
calling me all those things
freak, fat, ugly, anorexic, lazy, stupid, geek,
all of the names, though they
contradict each other sometimes,
you don't care,
as long as you've hurt me.
You don't know, or maybe you don't care
it feels like you just slapped me.

I hate the way you look so smug,
until I finally turn and hit you back.
Until that fateful second,
when you turn away and give a sob,
and I'm foolish enough to pity you
and your heartbreaking tears.
And you've won.
But how can you say you hate me,
when I'd never say that to you
I only hate the way you hurt me
but I love you really, I do...