tell me all your secrets
and I will keep them safe
tell of the magic
and I will keep the faith
tell me all your sorrows
and I will make you new
give me your tomorrow
and I will rescue you
I agree with Jeff. This one has all the right ingredients for a love song. But it always depends upon the melody, the arrangement, and the delivery, whether it can cut the mustard in a competitive music environment.
Some good lyric material here. If it's a song, I would end it with the title; and build up to the title in a chorus; vs. starting with the title in the first line. That's just traditional advice, not a hard and fast rule. There are many successful songs that start with the title or have the title in the first line or first few lines.
And ending line "... and all because the love I've always felt for you; deep in the furthest, safest confines of my heart; in all the sacred places in my heart..." Just a suggestion. I especially love this section: "tell me all your secrets
and I will keep them safe
tell of the magic
and I will keep the faith
tell me all your sorrows
and I will make you new
give me your tomorrow
and I will rescue you " -- Jeff Mason
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Ron
And ending line "... and all because the love I've always felt for you; deep in the furthest, safest confines of my heart; in all the sacred places in my heart..." Just a suggestion. I especially love this section: "tell me all your secrets
and I will keep them safe
tell of the magic
and I will keep the faith
tell me all your sorrows
and I will make you new
give me your tomorrow
and I will rescue you " -- Jeff Mason