I can look at you,
and dream
of everything
we will never have.
And I can imagine
that as you walk past
you stop to speak to me,
ask me how Im doing
and mean it.
I can pretend
that if I look up
I'll find your eyes on mine,
and you'll smile,
and we wont need words
to come between us
in being together.
I can dream
of sleeping at night
beside you,
and waking
to your face,
and my arms
around your body,
sheltering you
through the darkness.
I can wish
that I could taste
any of this.
That even for a moment
you would feel for me.
But I know that it's a lie,
and that inside
I hold nothing
you could love.
So I wont imagine,
or pretend.
I wont let myself dream,
or wish for things
that will never come true .
I wont even look at you.
I'll just swallow hope,
let go
of all softness,
and give up
on ever being wanted.

You wont know me.
You wont hold me.
You wont even believe
that I exist.