Venting

I feel like venting to someone but whom? I can’t talk to anyone in my church they are all friends with my mom.  I want a friend what is it like to have a husband or a friend that cares?  My heart is hurting. I can feel the tears getting ready to flow. I must not Cry I won’t shed a tear, I have no one to dry my eyes. The loneliness is starting to close in more and more I try to be happy I try to put on a happy face and act cheerful it is hard when your heart hurts.

She has always been the one that tells me my writing is a waste of time. I honestly think it is sometimes. I post with mistakes I'm sorry I don’t mean to.

I may be fat but I try to look good, I sometimes think people would be better off if I was gone?

I feel like I'm alone on a dessert Island crying alone in the dark waiting for someone to reach out and put their arm around me to tell me I'm beautiful and they love me for who I am. I'm a Christian I love God with all of my heart. It is hard living in this world sometimes a world you feel that is against you. I hate being alone I hate the feeling of loneliness that comes around you. It is a heaviness that seems to stay. When i have a husband and kids will that all disappear?

 Writing is my escape it is the place where I feel at peace I can enter the world of imagination dreaming up the perfect family story the next best-selling novel. I then hear "Your stories are a waste of time they aren’t getting you anywhere"

That brings me down a notch maybe a whole bunch. In the cartoons when Donald shrinks down to small size I wish I could do that. Loneliness isn’t a game it isn’t something to play. It is a true feeling something that hurts everyone at some point in their life. Those who have friends to have support be grateful for them love them appreciate them. Let them know you are grateful for them. Those who have husbands and children the same thing love them let them know you care show them you love having them in your life. Be grateful you have a husband and Children.