Lonely

I feel alone I have nothing in my life.

I know I annoy people. That must be the reason they walk away from me. When someone better comes along.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t born.

I feel like a loser.

Sometimes I want to rewind my life. Do over here do over there. Maybe if I could I would be a better person.

Is my life really worth living?

I survived the bullies. I got over that.

When I talk too much I’m told to SHUT UP in a hushed tone.

I feel like I’m just a waste of space.

I don’t take life for granted.

I feel so alone sometimes I want to break down and cry like a child. I often do that sometimes.

I feel like running away from it all or ending it all

Yeah I think about it sometimes when I’m alone or feel depressed.

I get that way when I feel lonely. Is my life worth it?

Is my life really worth living?

 The worst is a job oh yeah a job you need more experience for this.

Well CRAP! How do I get experience if ya’all don’t hire me.

I may be fat but that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings I do and yeah they get hurt just like yours.

I want to have a husband a best friend a shoulder to cry on a friend to understand or listen. I don’t have a friend. I never have had a friend. Not a close one. I’m always ditched when a better friend comes along or they move away. I just want to be understood.

It is hard to act cheerful. When your soul hurts. Especially when your name means it. People expect you to be happy well they all are married have a life.

I often look around a store and think do all those couples really love each other are they grateful for each other.do they love their kids? Man their so blessed.

The feeling of being alone is nasty. I often feel like a third wheel. I feel alone in church or anywhere I go. Loneliness hurts deep within the soul. You often wonder do they like me only because I’m my mother’s child or because I'm my father’s child.

I feel so alone

I have dreams but I don’t think I’m good enough. When I write I often wonder if it is good enough. Then again maybe I should quit writing. My mom thinks my writing it is a waste of time is it. People tell me I write well others tell me I stink what is the truth. Are all my stories really CRAP are they just being nice?

I often sit alone wishing to have a friend to talk to my mom tells me it is my fault I’m not married I don’t get out of the house. Pretty hard when you don’t have a fiend to go anywhere with.

I hate holidays they were designed for families’ not single people. I hate them I hate seeing all the couples going around together with their kids. I often think why can’t that be me?

Right now I’m alone in a quiet home. I can't talk to people in my church they might think I’m being selfish thinking of myself.

My mom tells me to get over being bullied. I have forgiven them I don’t hold things against them. It wasn’t easy going to school Monday to Friday getting called fatso, piggy teased and taunted then coming home to my sister that would always want to do things I did but only better and make me look bad I was never on any teams for that reason.

Man I feel so alone. As I sit alone writing this wishing for things to happen the more I wonder if anyone would miss me. Or if I were to become sick would people care? I don’t wish that on myself but when you’re alone you start to think. You think of yourself as a screw up a nobody someone who isn’t worth breath. I think people talk behind my back say mean things I know they don’t or I hope they don’t.

It hurts that my grandmothers hate me. My dad's mom always gave my sister a gift on my birthday on her birthday she got another gift I didn’t. I grew up thinking I did something wrong for her to hate me so much. I often wonder what life would be like if I had stuck up for myself more. The more I think the more I wonder should I stop thinking.