A Hundred Dollars
I have a hundred dollars
How shall I spend it today?
My child wants a toy
And he is due to see the doctor
My wife wants a microwave oven
To help her cook our meals
My mother needs to have her light bill paid
She really struggles since my dad died
And I have a tooth that needs dental work
Looks like I need to have it pulled
The neighbors all wonder
Why I haven’t mowed my lawn
When I was looking for a beer this morning
I noticed very quickly that I had none
Because there was nothing there to hide it from my view
So- I guess I could use it to buy some groceries, too
But, my car seems to drive itself
To my friend Carlos’s house
Every meter of the way
My conscience speaks to me to say
That I should not be going to where I am going
Because I’m going to give a hundred dollars to Carlos
And he will give me a big dose of nullification in return
He will take my mind away and my heart, too
Nothing left to feel the pain
When I get home and receive the message
Reinforcing my own awareness of the bargain rate
Of my own personal self worth
From my disappointed world
And those judging eyes within you
The silver spike sucks at brown juice until the meter runs out
Hot red blood swirls in a dance with salvation
Telling me the happy coupling is ready
To rush into my waiting vein with a smooth push
And I am gone again
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I seen him with the needle in his arm
& of course not present
I also have a loved one addicted to meth for 20 years
it is such a hard addiction..they all are actually
giving up what works- the "nullification"
but what also destroys ones life circle
a powerful expression Blue
Churning thorns in our hearts it does
Love & Blessings
Vickie
You are sorely missed,
Much Love,
Deborah
Regis